A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What did silly Billy with no arms get for Christmas ? Gloves.. why did silly billy fall off the swing? He got hit by a microwave.. Why did silly sally fall off the swing? She had no arms.. Knock Knock Whos there? Not sally..

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Daisy's are white, Metallica.

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Q:why is walmart so big? A:Years ago a man named Sam Walton had a vision for one stop shopping and affordable low prices. And it goes without saying that being a one stop shop must mean you have a lot of inventory thus the size of Walmart is a lot larger to hold and support the increased mass of inventory .

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue. Vodka is cheaper than dinner for two.

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What's worse than the Holocaust? A Holocaust survivor. --ZeNaziGermanDoctor

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What did the chicken say when it finally crossed the road? - nothing, its a chicken

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A white man got injected by Heroin at a party and got instantly addicted.

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- Mom, you have a banana in you ear. - What? Son I can't hear you, I have banana in my ear.

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Potassium? K.

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Why did the car crash? Because the driver was blind

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Why did Timmy drop his ice cream cone? Because a skyscraper landed on him. Yes. A skyscraper.

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Why did the smoker die at a petrol station? He had lung cancer.

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Why is it bad luck for a black cat to cross your path? I'll tell you in Heaven

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Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

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Why would you kill a black man? Well, murderers have different motives, the most common of these are revenge or a psychological illness.

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How do you get the neighborhood hoodlums to stop pushing you over in your wheelchair? Brutally murder their families in front of them.

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What is better then fisting? Fisting with a metal studded glove

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You tell me. I have amnesia.

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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A dyslexic man walks into a bra

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Whats worse than a worm in your apple? Two worms in your apple...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Who are we kidding, when have you ever seen a chicken crossing a road?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops