Why did the redneck leave his wife? To marry his daughter.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Someone threw a fridge at her

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What do you call a college student who never studies? An irresponsible person

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What do you call a girl with no legs? Disabled.

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What did one pig say to the other pig while sitting in the bathtub? No thanks I already have a typewriter.

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Sam Hengal.

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Yo mama's so fat, she has low self-esteem.

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How many seals does it take to unscrew a lightbulb? Depends on how high the ceiling is.

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Why do catholic priests enjoy the company of boys? Because they must remain celibate and cannot have children of their own.

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A man goes to the pound to adopt a dog and sees a very shaggy dog and says "WOW! Thats a shaggy dog I'll take it!" So the man takes home his new dog and decides to enter the dog in the towns anual shaggy dog contest. and wins. After winning the town shaggy dog contest he moves up to the county shaggy dog contest. theres no competition. Now the man and his dog enter into the state shaggy dog contest, the states shaggiest dogs are all competing. the man wins. Finally the man and his dog are in the prestigious national shaggy dog contest. The judge walks up to the man and says "your dog isn't very shaggy"

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what did the dog say to the mailman? "hey thanks for the mail" the mailman replies "your welcome"

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What's black and white and red all over? A black, white, and red shirt.

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What's the difference between your mom and a table? The table isn't a whore.

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whats a funny joke? nuthing nuthing at all

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Whenever someone asks you why you're sad, always remember this simple answer so that people won't keep asking you more questions: "Because Hitler died"

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Hey I just met you And this is crazy But I have alzheimer's Hey I just met you Coopn8r

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Why did the boy fail the math test? He has a learning disability.

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What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

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Why did the man laugh as he sat in the electric chair? He was being tickled by the guard.

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knock knock whos there **gunshot ...man that gun show next door is annoying

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Bridget, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and since it is rather long, it brushes against her round breasts. Even though she is a little sweaty, you realize what a beautiful woman she is, and you decide not to kill here. You instead ask her to marry you, and after she replies "yes", with tears of joy streaming down her face, you two make passionate love in the front seat of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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I used to work as a human cannonball. I thought I was going to get fired, however during one performance the trajectory was miscalculated and I ended up severely damaging my spinal cord. I now work from home as a IT consultant. It's depressing.

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What do you hear when you put your foot on a man's ear? A man saying, "WTF are you doing?!"

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In retrospect, I was wrong to microwave all those cats.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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