A jumpercable walks in the bar the bartender says ill get you something but dont start anything.

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What's worse than a baby dying of AIDS? It depends upon one's frame of reference. A family living in the US might consider the death of a baby by AIDS a horrible act by the gods. But to a similar family in sub-Saharan Africa, this might be a regular, albeit tragic occurrence.

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Q: Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? A: Because it died. Q: Why did the dog fall out of the tree? A: Because it was tied to the monkey.

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Knock knock! Who's there? F*ck. F*ck who? F*ck you.

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The original Moral Man has left Horsehead network, but I will keep monitoring this section for like 3 hours... Then probably never again on this shit site it barely works ffs! Moral: "Turn every stone, and you might find a penny, turn every penny and you might find a stone that stone is in our shoe, kick it away, crush it, destroy it"

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't it got run over on the way there.

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Why did the girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms.

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How do you get a black guy out of a tree? Get a ladder and help him down

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Whats worse then finding a worm in your apple? Getting yours asshole clawed by a grizzly

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What is white and tastes like cotton candy? Jizzz

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roses are red violets are blue, were stuck to gather like superglue in tell you get the flu, then I'm not touching you :)

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What is worse than losing your phone charger... Being viciously raped by a group of angry vegans feminist mad at you for eating a burger, while walking out of Hooters.

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Yo mama's so fat, she died of a mixture of obesity and type 1 diabetes.

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Your mamma's so dumb, she's had problems functioning in society, due to illiteracy problems, and a general incomprehension of her surroundings and own thoughts.

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Seriously, I am going to tell you, but you know, what would you have preferred that it was if you could choose, I am kinda insecure about these things, and people can read these messages so...

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What happens when you rub two penises together? Gay sex.

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whats white and smells like onions? an onion..

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knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

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what do you say to your girlfriend just after the best sex you ever had? I really got great value for money tonight with my prostitute sweety. You should have been there

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What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

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What do you call a quadriplegic man at a museum? "Sir," unless you happen to know his given name, in which case it would be most polite to call him that.

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What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

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How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

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A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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