Why did i get some thing to eat? Because i was hungry.

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what did the unicorn say to the centaur? nothing because neither exist

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How do you burn alot of calories? Set a fat kid on fire

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What did the retarded handicap say to the bully who called him the biggest retard in the world? "atleast I didn't make SOPA"

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how do you prevent a chicken from contracting aids?? you make him a little chicken condom.

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It's okay we all love you, except me, and everyone else.

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Who is the most famous black person? Michael Jackson, except he's not black.

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What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

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Many people dont know this about me, but I'm not very famous.

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knock knock go away

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Roses are red So are you Cause you killed my dreams So I killed you

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Roses are red. Violets are blue. I don't know why.

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why did the boat crash? a tomato was driving

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Roses are black Violets are black I'm blind

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A jew walk's into a bar. But actually it was a Gas chamber.

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Three men are stranded in a small rowboat. Just as all hope seem to be lost, one man noticed an island covered in luscious foliage about five hundred yards away. It became apparent that an unrelenting riptide was dragging the boat further and further from the shore. It became further apparent that the men would have to abandon their rickety rowboat and swim the rest of the way. The first man bravely jumps into the vast uncertainty of the ocean and attempts to swim to shore. He is met by a large shark that promptly severs his arm from his body. A bloody mess, he manages to touch down on the sandy beach. The second man, more reluctantly, also jumps in. He balanced his chances: "100% death in the boat vs. uncertainty in the ocean." Like the first man, the second man meets the shark's vicious bite. His leg is severed and he too drags himself, bloody, to the warm embrace of sand and freedom. The third man, sure that he would be bitten also, jumps into the ocean and swims to shore. Alas! The third man arrived on the island unscathed and completely fine. Perplexed, the first two men asked the third why the shark did not attack him. The third man simply smiled and replied..."what do you expect me for, a typewriter?"

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how do you know if an asian gang has been to your house? 1. your computer is unplugged 2. your homework is finished 3. they are still trying to back out of the driveway

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Why do alcoholics use brown bags? Because they are ashamed of what they have become and seek to repress their guilt by entering into denial.

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A man is talking to his friend. The man suddenly picks up a banana. He says "hello anybody there?" The banana says "yes." After a while of conversing, the man suddenly puts the banana down in a sad type of way. The man then says to his friend "I'm sorry, but your sun has just died in horrible accident.

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Knock knock Who's there? Fuk Fuk who?

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What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

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What did Batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile Get in the batmobile

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hey guess what? what ur gay! how did you know ive been in the closet for 5 years!?

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What did Osama Bin Laden Say to Obama when they met? Nothing Osama is Dead

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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