Why does Santa Clause not have any children? Because he only cums once a year.

The secret to McDonalds success is all their customers are to fat to leave

You know what would be funny? If the Incredible Hulk asked Spiderman to change his diaper.

What is rectangular, white and has two wheels? A limo getting its wheels replaced.

Whats worse than biting into your apple and finding a worm? Getting raped by a giant monkey

whats sad about 3 black people driving a Cadillac over a cliff? that was my Cadillac

Why did the chicken cross the road? it was thrown

What did the black man say to the other black man? Nothing, he was recently involved in a terrible car accident which he barely survived but lost the function of speech and was paralysed from the neck downwards. He is constantly in pain and desperately wants someone to kill him but has no way of communicating this so is forced to wait until his natural death.

What do you get when you cross a gay eskimo and a black man? Nothing, as two male humans cannot reproduce.

This night was a particularly stormy one, many a crop destroyed, but the spirit of Little Jonny Harrison lived on with a shining light so strong it could emotionally blind those who may experience it's full potential. Jonny lived in Ristoville, a secluded village atop a hill. Citizens of Ristoville were frightened for there lives, all but Jonny, that is. Jonny was bullied from a young age, approximately 3 months, by his Uncle Clive, who was a Catholic Priest, full-time. Fear shined in the eyes of the normal residents, whilst, in Jonny's heart, there glowed a glow of pure hope and confidence, Jonny Harrison, was going into the storm. Jonny knew he could amount to something, if he really really tried. He has 6 years behind him, and a long life ahead, and he figured, what's the worst that could happen? He pondered this, and ultimately came to the conclusion that there will be nothing worse out there than Uncle Clive's "Magical Basement of Happiness". Jonny sat his mother down, looked her in the eye and whispered farewell. He wished his father the best wishes possible. Finally, Rosie Harrison, Jonny's sweet old Grandmother, who had been addicted to Crystal Meth for about 25 years now and been through 13 interventions and countless failed suicide attempts, opened her ears to young Jonathon's speech, he said softly in her ear, the words, "Hang in there, Gran. I know you can pull through, I may be only six but I sure as heck know how much i care for you.". The words of love echoed in her fragile little ears as Jonny walked away. He took with him a couple cartons of Apple and Blackcurrant Ribena and his Grandfather's lucky medallion and took his first step outside. He whipped out a carton of Ribena, strongly crumpled up the carton, slightly spraying pure fruit juice on his dungarees, and threw it to the drooping wet grass. He faced the towering lightning cloud and with a cry so intense, shouted, "Nothing will stop me!!". Jonny died shortly after of HIV induced AIDS. His Uncle Clive was sentence to 3 to 5 years, depending on behavior, in a high security prison for child molestation, frequent and consistant child abuse and paedophillia and smuggling Crystal Meth. Rosie Harrison died later that day.

What do you call a penguin sliding down a hill how should i know.

knock knock. who's there? interrupting cow. interrupting cow wh... You mom's a whore.

If i wanted your 2 cents i'd rob you

Why didn't the kid eat lunch at school? He wasn't hungry.

What's the difference between a hooker and an onion? You don't have to cook an onion to eat it.

Your mom is so fat..., that she died of a heart attack at an early age and everyone mourned her greatl

wanna hear a sad joke? you! by mad james

whats brown and sticky? Doody

What's worse than this That :(

Joke below was made by Daniel Textor, he's a d i c k.

When Chuck Norris claps, his two hands slam together, creating rather loud soud.

why did the hater hate? everyone else has a much better life

How did Debbie get a black eye? Because her dad asked her to take off her pants and she refused so he beat her

What kind of shoes does a pedophile wear?white vans

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

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The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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