Little molly says she wants to have a baby when she grows up because her little baby brother died of ta-sacs 6 months after birth.

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THAT'S RIGHT, BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER BOUGHT. LOOK WHAT A GREAT JOB IT DID ON THIS PAGE YEAH! I RECKON IT IS THE BEST INVISIBLE PAINT I EVER DIDN'T SEE

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What do a tree and I have in common? We would both be mad if we got turned into paper.

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A panda walks into a restaurant, sits down and orders a sandwich. After he finishes eating the sandwich, the panda pulls out a gun and shoots the waiter, and then stands up to go. "Hey!" shouts the manager. "Where are you going? You just shot my waiter and you didn't pay for your sandwich!" The panda yells back at the manager, "Hey man, I am a PANDA! Look it up!" The manager's heart skipped a beat, and he locked himself inside his office, trembling with fear and confusion. Yes, it was plausible that a beast such as that could point to a random entry on the menu, and it was physically possible for it to pull the trigger of the gun (and, at such close proximity to the waiter, it would be pretty hard to miss him), but it was shocking and altogether disturbing to hear such an animal speak in human language, much less vernacular English.

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A Jewish man answered his phone one day. The man on the line said he'd kill him and all his family. The Jewish man then hung up the phone and resumed his everyday life.

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Q: what's worse than getting the flu? A: getting cancer

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Me: What's the difference between a zebra and a slice of cheese? You: I don't know Me: Me neither

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Why couldn't the bunny hop? Because it lost both it's legs

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I'm so hungry I could eat a horse and chase the jockey.

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Q: what's green and has wheels? A: a john deere tractor

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Why did the man with no arms or legs fall out of the tree? Because he got shot.

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roses are red, violets are blue, if ruddell was black, he would smell of poo.

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How do you make a dog drink? Put one in a blender.

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Why isn;t the square root of peanut butter very athletic?.Actually, peanut butter isn't a mathematical equation nor does it have the necessary chemical make-up, physical properties or the biological construct that is required for it to be able to be considered athletic, stupid. You now have a inoperable tumor at the base of your spine. And I fucked your dad and shat in his mouth. Also, the cure for leukemia is my diarrhoea, you faggot.

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Why is Blake dumb? He was in algebra one as a freshman. And his nickname is angry Blake

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what did the boy with no arms and legs get for christmas? Cancer what did he get the next year? Nothing he didn't make it that long.

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I was there when Lebron James hit a home run to win the Super Bowl.

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How many mice does it take to screw in a light bulb? None. Mice don't have the strength required to do that.

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What happened after Will Ferrell took a dump? He wiped his ass and flushed.

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Knock Knock Who is there? Orange Orange who? Orange-Banana

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Why did the lion get lost? Because the jungle is massive

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A man walks into a bar. It leads to a fight that is enjoyable to watch.

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Why was the Africanan boy hungry? Because food is hard to come by in Africa.

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rarw

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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