cop arrests a jew and interrogates him Jew. i aint telling you nothing cop: really cop pours a bag of coins on the table jew: thats about $7.80 cop: you can have it if you tell us what we want to know jew: ok jew: i stole the money 123

- i send you a friend request on facebook - okay

Why cant Michael J Fox draw a perfect circle? because he is dying of parkinson's disease.

What do you call a man in a wall? Stuck.

A black man walks into a store. As he leaves, the detector goes off. It turns out the sales clerk had forgotten to take out one of the tags on his purchase. The sales clerk promptly took it off, and the man left to enjoy the rest of his day.

Whats worse then the Holocaust? Chlamydia.

What did the muffin, say to the other muffin? Nothing. Because muffin's are inanimate objects, therefore incapable of speech, or any other sentient action. They baked quietly until the man who was baking them came to the conclusion they were fit for consumption, devoured them, and went on with his day.

What's the difference between an elephant and a plum? Their color. What did Tarzan say when he saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the elephants over the hill. What did Jane say when she saw the elephants coming over the hill? Here come the plums over the hill. She was color blind.

What's worse than speaking to a Russian bear? Gettting mauled and eaten by one.

What's the difference between a truck full of bowling balls and a truck full of babies? One's used for bowling and the other's just sad.

Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stoplight turned green

What do people call the completely paralyzed man with no eyes? David, his name.

What's worse than getting a parking ticket? Getting Cancer.

A bunch of nuns were riding a three-seat bicycle. The seats were comfy and no one complained.

What's worse than requesting a three-some to your in-laws? Forgetting to suggest that they me too fragile and disabled, resulting in one of their limbs breaking.

How do you kill Justin Beiber? By stabbing him 38 times in the chest.

Dumbledore dies.

Who's blind but can see, deaf but can hear, and dumb yet can solve the most complex mathematical equations? Helen Keller-Norris

Are you 9/11 because i would like you to destroy my tower.

What happens when you throw a green rock into the Red Sea? It gets Wet.

A man walks inti a bar and asks for a drink, he shows the bartender his ID and is kicked out because the man is underaged.

Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a gun.

What is worse than 10 babies nailed to 1 tree? 1 baby nailed to 10 trees.

Ah, sorry for my failed attempt at being a witty. Yes, it has been a long day, or so the saying goes.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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