Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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Ha ha. You've wasted your life, sucker!

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What's the difference between Harry Potter and a Jew? Harry made it out the chamber.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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Knock Knock, Who's there? Alzheimer's Alzheimer's who? Knock Knock...

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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How do you fit 100 dead babies in a box? A blender. How do you get them out? Tortilla Chips. hehehehehehe

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Why did the Black man buy some slaves? They were his family

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A white man applies for a job two weeks later he finds out he lost the job to a hardworking Mexican who went to college and payed his debts

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says: "I forgot to store nuts for winter, now i am dead."

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Hey how was your audition?" "yeah really good, I got in...

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Roses are blue Violets are red It's fascinating what genetic engineering can do

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What two Mexicans call a stray cat? Gato

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What's the hardest part of the pizza to eat? The motorbike.

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Why was the boy crying? Because he had a frog stapled to his face

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Women's Rights..

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What's the difference between a pizza and a baby? I don't stab pizza 47 times in the chest with a chainsaw.

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whatt dont w do you call a person with legs that dont work Crippled

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What do you call a dog that acts like a cat, likes to pretend he's human, and whose name is "Moose"? A dog. His personality traits have no effect on the changing of his species.

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What did one cow say to the other? Moo.

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Q: What do you call a colour blind person that smells like green paint? A: A painter

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What's the worst way to say you want to break up? Kill her dog.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops