What is red and has two legs? Half a cat.

Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. -Knock Knock. -Who's there? -Not Sally.

Pianos.

Why did the baby cross the road? It was stapled to the chicken.

How did the girl cross the road? -She didn't, she died because she was blind and didn't see the "don't walk" sign.

What's big fat and ugly? A monster

a black guy a mexican guy and a puerto rican guy are driving together in a car whos driving? Whoevers car it is.

Why did Carl the cat die? he didnt. he's still alive.

Knock Knock. Whose there? Orange. Orange who? Orange you glad I didn't say banana?

Why did Billy kill Joey? Joey had sex with Billy's wife... and Billy wanted revenge.

But that just reinforces the negative stereotype that women don't have penises.

Wanna hear a dirty joke? ... A boy played in mud.

Knock Knock Who's there? Just open the damn door.

Fact: 100% of people who drink alcohol will die.

What's the difference between me and an animal? I'm human

Your mother is so fat that when she goes to the movies, she usually orders popcorn and maybe a drink.

who is the shortest man in the world? ADITYA DEV

Whats worse than death? Getting expelled from Hogwarts

Q: What's black, white, and red all over? A: A horribly maimed zebra.

That dress looks amazing on you considering how fat you are.

What's small, black and at the top of a burning building? Oh shit - I forgot my baby

Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a baby in your closet.

Three ethnic minorities walk into a bar, and each does something involving alcohol that confirms a negative stereotype about his subgroup.

Three gay men are in a bath tub and bubbles come up and one says "who farted?"

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...