A horse walks into a bar. The bartender asks "why the long face?" The horse begins bucking wildly, injuring three patrons before breaking through the front door.

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The Big Band Theory

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What's orange and sounds like a parrot? An orange parrot.

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Knock knock Who's there? Boo AHHH A GHOST D:

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because the stock market crashed 600 points today, and his retirement account took a hit. He can't afford his car anymore.

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Roses are red Violets are blue There's suppose to be a fourth line.

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What is a good remedy for the common cold? A piping hot bowl of chicken-noodle soup.

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Did you hear the joke about Helen Keller? She's dead.

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How do you stop a group of black guys from fighting? go over to them and ask them politely to stop.

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Whats better than having 5 dollars? Having 5 dollars and a pizza

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YO FACE

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Have you ever seen what Stevie Wonder looks like without his sunglasses? Neither have I.

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When geese fly in the V formation why is there always one side longer than the other? Because theres more geese on that side.

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What did Batman say to Robin before he got in the Batmobile? Get in the Batmobile.

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What is brown and smells bad? A white person that had been bathed in brown paint, and didn't shower for the next month, and rubbed poop all over them, and rubbed diarrhea all over them and rubbed rock poop all over them and rubbed pee all over them, and rubbed mud all over them, and pooped in a bottle.

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Why did little Timmy scrape his knee? He was launched off of an aircraft carrier.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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Why was the blonde fired from her job at the M&M's factory? Her Masters Degree in electrical engineering made her overqualified for the position she had.

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Why did the boy jump off the building? To get to the bottom.

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Roses are Red Violets are Blue I'm Schizophrenic And so am I.

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Boy: Your father must be an alien, because there’s nothing else like you on earth! Girl: *whispering* please don't tell anyone we are trying not to be noticed...

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Jingle bells Batman smells WHERE IS SHE??!!?!?!?

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How do you make a baby stop crying for the rest of its life? Shoot it in the face.

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Where would it be hard to find handicapped parking? At the paralympics.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops