How do you make an ugly person not ugly? Put a bag over their head. With,, a smiley face.

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Why did Michael Jackson name his kid blanket? Because after years of drug abuse and sexual insecurity led to him thinking unrealistically during the birth of his children.

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A homeless man walks into a bar. The bartender says, "What will it be?" The homeless man says, "Nothing. I have no money."

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It is better to have loved and lost, Than to have fallen, bleeding, into shark-infested waters.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Because she has no arms. *Knock knock* "Who's there?" "Not Sally."

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the teacher enters the room she sits in her chair and yells, "i am your substitute teacher. get out your books and write me a story."

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what do u call a lesbian dinosaur? lickalotopuss

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Why did the blackman fall off the bike? Because he stole it.

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What did the irishman say when he walked into a bar? Ouch

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I was walking down the road yesterday with only 1 shoe. A man stops by and says "Did you know that you lost a shoe?" I reply "No I didn't. I found 1."

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whats fat and sits on a toilet? a fat guy sitting on the toilet

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What did I say to my mum this morning? Good morning.

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Why is Megan Fox so hot? Because the air conditioning broke.

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A man walks into a bar, the other man ducks.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Your mom. Just kidding, it's the pizza guy. Pizza guy who?

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How does it change many dyslexics to take a lightbulb

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What's worse than the Holocaust? Nothing.

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Omar the Magnificent is performing a huge magic show at a theater in New York City. His final trick will be to have his assistant saw him in half in front of the sold out crowd. Omar never knew how other magicians perform the trick. The crowd of hundreds watches Omar's assistant brutally murder him onstage and many require mental therapy for years to come.

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There once lived a man in Peru. He lived in a small apartment then died of kidney failure.

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What's the difference between 50 dead babies and a three-course meal? One of them can feed me for a day and the other is a three-course meal.

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What do a plum and a small bunny have in common? There both purple except for the bunny.

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A brachiosaurus walks into a cafe "Excuse me I'm an herbivore, can I have a full English breakfast, but with veggie sausages instead of normal sausages, and mushrooms instead of bacon?" Shop keeper: "No you can't. Your too big. You've destroyed my kitchen, and my livelihood. I have nothing left. You've accidently reduced my business to rubble by walking through the door"

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What's funny about your mom? Nothing, she died three weeks ago.

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What's the difference between a blonde and a microwave? If you don't know the difference you need a psychiatrist.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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