two guys r talking and the one said *i swear to god* and the other one said *u swear what to god what the hell r u talking about i dont even know u*

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How do you make a person dissapear? You can't that would break the laws of physics, so therefore rendered impossibe.

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Q: What's worse than a paper cut? A: 9/11

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What do you call an African American woman with Tourettes? This question cannot be answered correctly. The African American woman was misdiagnosed. She is really a crack whore.

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Your mom is so retard that she needs "special help" from medical professionals. :3 <33

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With all due respect, I do underestimate myself, there is not a single person I know that has not told me that, but if I wanted to, I would not even had to make the effort to have you removed, hell I had to pull favors and owe people things in order to keep you safe. I could have said the rest of you, but had I not known you, had you not been one of my co-workers back then, I would not have gone to the extremes that i did, you are beautiful, but what does that have to do with anything? Do you think that if I did not know you I would go "that one is sexy, release her?" Even if I did, I do not have authority, I work for them.

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why was the girl unhappy? because she was stapled to a shark.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Your landlord your being evicted we need you out in 2 weeks.

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why was the fork in the wall? Why would a fork be in a wall?

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Psychic wanted. You know where to apply.

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What doesn't kill you leaves you in a coma.

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What do you call a Mexican that sails a ship? A sailor

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what do you call a blonde skeleton in the closet? last years hide and go seek champion

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What is a frogs favorite drink? Water.

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Why did the horse say moo? Because it's a cow

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why did the chicken cross the road? to form the basis of an extremly popular jokewhich would grace the schoolyards around the world for centurys to come!

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How many Americans does it take to screw in a lightbulb? One.

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Why was 6 afraid of 7? 7 was black.

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what worse than bitting into an apple and finding a worm bitting into a worm and finding an apple

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because he was dead

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What's the difference between a lawyer and a catfish? The lawyer is a human being whose profession is to give legal advice and assistance to clients and represent them in court or in other legal matters while the catfish is a freshwater or marine fish with whiskerlike barbels around the mouth, typically bottom-dwelling. -BG_Shank_A

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Where did the paralytic go for a vacation? No where he can't move.

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why did the kid struggle in school? because hes mentally retarted

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Why does Snoop Dogg have an umberella? For shielding himself from the rain.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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