What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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A fish swims into a bar The town is flooded and thousands are dead

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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Q: Why did the grand mother drop her cane? A: She got pused out a window.

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Why couldn't the kid eat his vegetables? His parents stabbed him...

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The president is invited to a party at Bill's house. Suddenly the house catches on fire. Who survived? No one, they all died.

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Knock knock who's there? the police, your under arrest the police your under arrest who? BAM! sir, I'm placing you under arrest for the murder of your wife, anything you say or do can be used against you. IT WASN'T ME!!!! yeah yeah tell it the judge

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Roses are red Violets are blue I have a gun Watch me shoot you

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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What do you call a green dog? A green dog.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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Why did Hitler commit suicide? Because he was completely depressed and overwhelmed because of the fact that he had lost World War II.

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I will grant you one wish, but it sure as hell isn't coming true!

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Your such a whore, you most likely cut your own clothes so people will see more of your body that they find physically attractive and make a partner for sex easier to obtain

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A white man and a drunken black man enters the bar, the bartender calls the cop and the black man is dragged into the police car. The black man screams YOU ARE RACIST! YOU DAMN RACISTS! The cops tell him he has been walking around the streets naked the last 2 days... Oooh... I am really sorry sir says the black man. He was forgiven and went sober forever. Moral: No moral, that is the anti moral in this anti joke...and besides I am a W class celebrity.enjoy life

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How many Soviet Russians does it take to screw in a light bulb? None, in Soviet Russia, light bulbs are an unavailable commodity because the tyrannical government has called for a ban on unnatural illumination. A fact which is not lost on Mikhail, the light bulb maker whose wife died because his lack of business caused him to miss payments on his hospital bills.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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