There once was a man from Nantucket, His dick was so long it caused tremendous physical discomfort, and it was extremely difficult for him to find pants that did not reveal his freakish abnormality, and greatly limited his levels of intimacy. After botched reduction surgery, he was left without a penis at all and, realising the horrible irony, threw himself into a raging river (experiencing no shrinkage whatsoever).

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Why did the hobo get hit by a bus? He wanted to kill himself.

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A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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A clown walks into a bar and orders a pie. After about 2 minutes, the bartender gives him a pie. Later, a blonde walks into a bar and orders a cake. After about 1 minute, the bartender gives her a cake. Then a dog walks into a bar. It doesn't order anything because it's a dog.

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What did the kid with no arms or legs get for Christmas? Arms and legs, NOT GET IN MY MINIVAN!

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"Hey, did you hear that the Dungbeetles got a divorce? They live in California so she got half his shit."

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How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? The answer is not definitive and involves several factors including the size of the woodchuck, the woodchuck's teeth, the climate in which that woodchuck lives, and the tenacity of that particular woodchuck at achieving his goal.

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What happened to the gay guy? He died of aids...

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An Asian walks into a bar with his girlfriend He proceeds to buy himself and her food Pays Then leaves

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What's red & is bad for your face? A brick.

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OMG did you hear about the man who sky-dived from mars?!!!! No…. Me neither

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There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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Why did the pedophile go to the park? He lost his dog.

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Q: When did the man realize it was 5:00am? A: When it became 5:00am.

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three peanuts where walking down a dark alley, one was asalted

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? A pharmacist.

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A priest and rabbi walk into a bar. The priest leaves because they don't have wine.

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What do you get when you cross a black guy and a keyboard? A black guy punctured by a keyboard

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As he stood in her front yard with a boombox in the pouring rain, she leaned her head out the window with a smile and he was electrocuted.

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Hey you must be a parking ticket, because your yellow.

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Why couldn't the gay man grow a beard? He shaved his face frequently.

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What did the spoon say to the other spoon? Nothing, it is a spoon.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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