What do a lamp and a elephant have in common? Big ears, except for the lamp, it doesn't have ears.

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Roses are Red, Violets are Blue, My vagina is Red, Im on my period.

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Miss Jones has 10 apples on her desk. Billy takes half of them away and runs. What does Miss Jones have? 5 apples and a complaint filed for smacking Billy with a ruler.

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What do you call a black guy selling drugs? a pharmacist

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So Bob walked into his house after a long day at work and layed a rope on his bed. A few hours later his wife came home and found a beautiful tire swing in their backyard but her husband shot him self in his throat.

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An Italian man with a very thick accent decides to travel to America. On arriving, he decides to take a taxi and tour the nearby city. The man, feeling hungry after a while, chooses to stop at a bakery. Upon entering the bakery, the man walks up to the display of bread, and points at the loaves of bread he wanted, calling to the baker "I want 2 piece." The baker, not understanding the man's accent asks the man to repeat what he said. So the man repeats, "I want 2 piece, right here, right now." "Sure thing," the baker says, and gives the man the loaves of bread.

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Why didn't Hellen Keller scream when she fell off a cliff? She was wearing Mittens

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whats the differnece between a bag of dead babies and a ferarri? nothing ill never have either

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Q: How do you give a frigid woman an orgasm? A: By making her come.

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A guy walks into a psychiatrist's office covered only in Saran Wrap. He asks the doctor, "The strip of metal teeth is missing from the box, so could I borrow your scissors?"

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why did miles cross the road? Because hes gay

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Why did the asian driver crash his car? Because he was driving while intoxicated.

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Q: What do you call a serial killer named Mark? A: Mark.

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knock knock who is there who who who your an owl

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What does a banana and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them are a police officer.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It didn't

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Why did the Mexican mow the lawn? The grass was getting to high and needed to be trimmed.

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roses are green, violets are yellow, I am a hybridizer.

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an ethopian thanksgiving

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A dyslexic man walks into a bar. His own feelings of inadequacy over his learning disability have driven him to drink and is driving a wedge between him and his family

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A man walks into a bar. The bartender asks: dude, what happened to your eye? The man replies: abuse.

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knock knock who's there your moms dead im sorry

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why did the Jew not attend school ? because he was 27

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One day a duck was swimming on the lake and sees an alligator. The alligator says "You will be my next victim." The duck says "Quack."

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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