Q: What's worse than stepping a LEGO in the middle of the night? A: A landmine

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What do you call a black man fishing. ... a fisherman racist.

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why did the boy fall to the ground? He was struck by lightning

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like if u think princess kenny is the fairest maiden in all the land. if u dont, disregard this message.

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Two polar bears, oddly enough, are sitting in a bathtub. One of them asks "Could you pass the soap?" The other obliges and gives him the soap.

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The little girl asks her father "Daddy why is santa fat?" "you have to exist to lose weight" he answered

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What do you call two blacks on a bike? Two good friends having a good time.

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9-11 please state your emergency. My house is flooding! Dad, youre in the swimming pool.

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i hate when mothers said " clean your room" me " why " mom " because we have guest coming " me " oh i am sorry i didn't know we are all gathering in my f**king room

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What's the difference between Neal Armstrong and Michael Jackson? Neal Armstrong was the first man to WALK on the MOON, while Michael Jackson enjoyed touching young boys.

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2 Men Walk Into A Bar, I Forget The Rest.

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Tommy was excited to get a tattoo of a falafel on his wiener. He got skin cancer.

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What looks like half an Apple? The other half.

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Why did the little boy fall of his bike? He was dead.

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why did the dog chase the cat? because the cat chased the dog first.

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A Dyslexic man went to a posh, bought a badnana, and put it no his neck, and lawked around twon.

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Why did the boy drop his ice cream? Because he got hit by a bus

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Why did the boy not answer his mums call? because he was dead

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Go fuck yourself.

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Roses are red, Violets are red, Tulips are red, Dandelions are red, I lit your garden on fire.

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A man and his young child walk into a clinic to get physical check-up. The man learns from the physicist he doesn't mater. His wife remarries and start having frequent sex and the child is scarred for life. This is irrelevant because both parents don't exist and this is all a constant delusion in an psychiatric hospital.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To warn the people on the other side that the sky was falling Why did the cow cross the road? cause he had mad-cow disease Why did Chuck Norris cross the road? Cause he's Chuck Norris Why did the Mexican Cross the road? He was on His way to America Why did the black man cross the road? He was walking to his car, racist....just kidding, he was on his way to rob a bank Why did the horse go to the other side of the field? He liked green grass

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there are three girls one said daddy why is my name rose because a rose fell on her head when yur a baby. daddy why is my name feather because a feather fell on your head when your a baby mumamhama, SHUT UP CINDER BLOCK!

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Yo mamma's so short that she is 12 inches below the average height of a woman at her age.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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