What do you call dinosaur flatulence? Jurassic Fart!

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How do you creep out a clown? Pet him softly and call him kitty kat while making a guttural sound that is not socially acceptable in mainstream American society.

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You can pick your nose and you can pick your friends but you can't wipe your friends on the couch.

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Jake. Walsh.

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what do you do when see a young girl crying on the swingset? ask her kindly to move, as you would like a turn

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When life gives you lemons.... Don't eat them, because you're probable hallucinating, and you don't know where they came from.

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What's the worlds best ice cream? Well overall I opinion is that because but I believe down to the but don't forget to mention that chocolate ice cream plays a huge however to flip the argument moreover I find it absurd that on the plus side four sides to tell the truth I wouldn't know to summarize the argument whereas to differ I would my final point is that Chocolate Ice cream is nice.

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RUN

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A duck walked into a bar and said "ouch."

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Two guys walk into a bar, a spanish guy and a black guy. They get some drinks, call a taxi to arrive home safe. And kiss their wives and kids goodnight. They go to bed early after reading a wallstreet journal. And wake up early so they can both go to their jobs as college professors. To white kids.

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How many apples does it take to keep the doctor away? 1 if you throw it hard enough! haha

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Why Are Parking Lines White? - So You Can See Them...

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what is the best invention ever created ? ............ PORN !!!!

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Knock Knock. Who's there? The Police. She told me she was nineteen.

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Timmy had to use the restroom in class one day, so he raised his hand and asked, "Can I use the restroom?" The teacher said, "I don't know, CAN you?" Timmy said'," When I was using 'can', I was using its secondary model form as a verbal modifier for asking for permission, as opposed to expressing ability. I though since you were a teacher you would know that. My bad. MAY I use the restroom?"

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Whats orange at the bottom of the swimming pool? A baby without floaties.

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whats worse than having the flu? having cancer

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What did the robet say to the centipede? Stop being a centipede. Its funny cuase the robot had no arms.

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someone has been eating my cornflakes,oh well cheerios instead.

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don't take life to seriously nobody gets out alive

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Color Blind people are so stupid that they can't even see color. I've been seeing color since I was a small child. They are so stupid.

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what is the best part about sleeping with twenty six year olds? they are usually very experienced in sexual intercourse so there isn't much awkwardness

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My friend told me to jump right off a cliff That's impossible since this cliff goes left...

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How do you confuse a blonde? Explain the concept of time travel.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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