A man finds a lamp and rubs it and a genie pops out and says he'll grant him 3 wishes. The man says "I wish I had a trillion dollars for which I can buy whatever my heart desires" and poof he gets it. The man says "I wish I had a beautiful wife for which I can love forever till the end of time." and poof he gets it. Finally, his 3rd wish he says "I wish I have my own country for which I can rule as king and become the greatest ruler in history." and poof he gets it.

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Knock knock. Who's there? Potatoes. Potatoes who? Garlic salt.

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Man I just flew in from Pittsburgh...Boy are the people ugly.

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What's the difference between and Jew and a boy scout? The boy scout returned from camp.

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What do you get when you cross a Pigeon with a Mailbox? A Carrier Pigeon, they are extinct now.

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a loaf of bread.

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A boy with one arm walks into a rock climbing facility and quickly realizes that his dream of being a rock climber is impossible because he is blind.

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A duct walks into a bar. The writer meant to write duck and then proceed to make a clever joke but instead a typo was made and a very unlikely occurence was writtern about considering air passages are not capable of walking and would most likely already be in the ceiling of the bar as too bring fresh air into the bar is important.

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A blonde, a redhead and a brunette are stranded on an island. They find a genie, who grants them three wishes. The brunette wishes to go back home. The redhead wishes to go back home too. The blonde misses her friends, so she wishes to go back home too.

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if chuck norris had 5 dollars and you had 10 dollars you would have 5 dollars more than Chuck Norris

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whats shaped like a tree. A tree.

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Whats the difference between a pile of dead babies and a pile of shit. I don't have a pile of shit in my garage.

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what did pedobear say to the 60 year old man nothing he was too busy molesting the girl across the street

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Why did the little girl fall from the swing? She's got no arms.

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What happens when you turn 70? You have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it. What happens when you turn 71? You still have to go into your settings and make the text in your phone larger just so you can read it.

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What's red and smells like blue paint? red paint

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Ever heard nobobys perfect well ill name my kid nobody therefore he will perfect

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What happened to the black guy who got pulled over by the cops? He was told that his left tail light was out

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why does the gay guy like anal-sex? because he's gay.

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What's green and red all over? That terminally ill child's vomit.

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If youve ever seen the wizard of oz movie and family guy, then u get what i mean. Hes a PHONY! a BIG FAT PHONY!

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Wanna know what I don't get? I was gonna say yo face, but that would be mean.

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My mother has great posture. She's paralyzed from the neck down.

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Ask me if im a tree Are you a tree? No.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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