Why did the chicken cross the road? For no specific reason, Chickens don't think much.

why did the monkey fall out of the tree? HE WAS DEAD STUPID IDIOT.

Why did the chicken Cross the road? Because a Blackman was chasing his dinner

In soviet russia...the abundance of natural oils and rich agricultural land provide it with a thriving economy

What's black and white and red all over? A penguin that just got shot

What's worse than Bogans? Boat people.

Pretend you are in a box and there is no way out. How do you get out? You don't

Why isnt there any mexicans on star trek? Because even in the future they dont work.

What's red and bad for youur teeth? A brick.

What did lil' Bobby get for christmas? Cancer.

whats worse than find a worm in your apple? finding the holocaust in your apple.

When an anvil and a feather are dropped off a building the anvil will hit the ground first because it's heavy

Whats the difference between a soccer ball and a baby? Babies cry when I kick them.

How do you shoot an eagle? You don't. The eagle is going too fast for you.

whats funny? when isreal special forces hunted down nazis after ww2 and killed the fucks

Listen bitch, get over here, let me poke out your fucking eyeball, and then you tell me if it is reasonable or not to fucking be pissed afterwards! As for your goddamn technique, of course I understand it, I use it too, its the ironman method as far as I am concerned. Do not share it with people here, you can go share it with your little "shadow people" but that shit took years to develop. But yeah, you tell me whatever the hell you consider "reasonable" you get me the money, and then we can see about being "reasonable". I know many of your methods, NLP, hypnosis, covert, warm and cold reading, I know you are no fucking psychic nor do you read minds, stop telling me what the hell your "Order" is, because whatever the hell it is, your "Nero`s" have proven on this site alone, that its a laughingstock that in no way could have brought six hundred people towards liking you, even less six millions.

Your momma is so fat she has an increased risk or cardiac arrest due to obesity. I ridicule her based on the theory that her morbid obesity is due to the fact that she has a diet consisting of large amounts of calories and high fat content and/or she is known to be very sedentary and does not partake in physical exercise. However, if this increase in body fat content is due to genetics I retract my previous statement and wish only the best for her, also, you might want to lower your calorie intake and visit your local gym, lest you succumb to morbid obesity, much like your mother.

a man walks into a bar, only it was an alternate universe so there were dogs running the bar. the bartender dog called human control because it was unsanitary to have a human in a bar. the human was then escorted out by another dog and was taken to a hotel where he received no continental breakfast.

What do you get when you combine a cat and a dog? A Cog

The baby started screaming in the dead of night. It woke up his mother, but his father did not be woken by it. why? Because the father left the mother some time ago, and emigrated to Australia with a new girlfriend, who is incidentially a model, and therefore he could not have heard hs child scream whilst on the other side of the world. His new girlfriend dosen't like him.

Whats worse than the holocaust? Finding a worm in your apple.

An old white lady falls on the ground in the middle of the night. Just then, two positively huge black men in hoodies walk up to her and she is frightened. But as it turned out, they just wanted to help her get on her feet, and called a taxi for her. When she had no money, they gladly paid her fare. This is because they're good people and not muggers

What did the sad orphan with liver cancer get for Christmas? Pictures of dead babies to put things in perspective.

What's red, white and blue? You're mother on her period after she had sex. I don't know where the blue came from.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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