Q: What's blue and yellow all over? A: A baby at the bottom of the pool with a slashed floatie. Q: What's red and yellow all over? A: A floatie at the top of a pool with a slashed baby.

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What do you call a kid with an eye-patch and a speech impediment? Names.

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Why can't a T-rex clap its hands? It's extinct.

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How do you get a Mexican's attention? "Excuse me, may I have your attention?"

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What is white and can't climb trees? Toothpaste.

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Kerry Katona becomes independent.

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You know what makes jokes funny? Irony You know what makes anti-jokes funny? Common sense

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Why did jasmine drop her shopping? And no its not because she did'nt have arms infact she did have arms she just did'nt have any hands

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What do you call an orange fruit? An Orange.

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What happened when the boy got caught with his hand in the cookie jar? He gets shot in the face by Santa.

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What did the kitty say when it's owner called him over? Nothing. It's owner killed him.

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Yesterday, upon the stair, I met a man who wasn't there. I saw him there again today; I've been sectioned. [L]

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yo momma is so fat that she contributes to americas obesity problem

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A Jew ran into a wall with a boner. He broke his nose first.

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Roses are red, Violets are dead, I climbed through your window, I'm under your bed

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Joker: Why so serious Man: My mom and dad just got hit by a car, and you just stabbed my friend in the face with a pencil. Joker: Oh well im sorry to hear that.

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"is it just me or is it getting really hot in here?" "the house is on fire and we are locked in"

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What did the Jewish man get for his birthday? Pork.

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(Mortal Kombat Annihilation) Princess Kitana: "Mother, you're alive" Sindel: "Too bad you, will die" (Troll 2) "They're eating her. And then they're gonna me. Oh my gawwwwwwwwd." (The Room) Johnny: I did not hit her, it's not true! It's bullshitt! I did not hit her! [throws water bottle] Johnny: I did *not*. Oh hi, Mark. Mark: Oh, hey Johnny, what's up?

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A black man and a Mexican man are in the back of a car. Who's driving? Not enough information to answer this question.

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why did Lucy fall down? she got hit with a hammer

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A lady with alzheimers walks up to her friend and says" my nefew died today" and her friend replied.. " no he died three years ago."

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What did one muffin say to the other Muffin? Nothing, muffins have no method of communication in any way shape or form

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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