There's a black guy, a yellow guy, and a white guy. Which one survives? All of them do. See. I'm not racist!

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What's the difference between an elephant and a grape? They're both fruit. Except the elephant.

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Why did the old man throw the clock out the window? Because he didn't want to go to a store that could repair it, so then he thought that it was better off on his yard where it could compost.

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this is a haiku i have no idea where i am going with .... this

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Why did the chicken cross the road? To get away from the farmer that was trying to kill it.

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What did the farmer say when his cow got stuck in a tree? Nothing, it didn't get stuck in the first place because cows are incapable of climbing trees.

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A little boy is going to school when he is stopped by a stranger. The stranger tells the little boy, when his teacher asks him why he is late, just say willytop. The boy looks at the stranger oddly, but proceeds to go to school. He arrives 5 minutes late, and is teacher isn't that happy. His teacher asks him why he is late. All the boy says is Willytop. The teacher looks at him horrified, and sends him to the office. Well, the boy arrives in the principals office, and the principal asks him why he was sent down. All the boy said was Willtop. The Principal was so horrified that he expelled the boy from school. Well, the boy went home, to find his parents in the living. They told the boy they knew he was expelled, but they wanted to know why. All the boy said was Willytop. The parents were so horrified by this that they kicked him out of the house. Well, the boy is now walking to dark town streets, when he is stopped by a cop. The cop asks him why he is walking the streets alone. All the boy says is Willytop. The cop is so disgusted, that he kicks the boy out of town. Well, the boy is now sitting in a bar, and the bartender asks him why he is alone. All the boy said was Willytop. The bartender looked at him horrified, but before the bartender could say anything, the boy says "Please sir, I was kicked out of school, my house and even my hometown because of willytop. what does it mean sir?" The bartender nods, and tells the boy to come with him across the street, because if he tells him in the bar, the other people may get mad. Well, the boy and the bartender are across the street from the bar. The bartender opens his mouth, but before he could speak, a drunk driver hits them both.

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Hitler walks into a temple..... Oh wait he died

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What's under there? I'm not falling for that one...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because you touch yourself at night.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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why did the black man fall down the stairs? he was blind, do to loss of vision from cancer

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Give to the less fortunate. Date ugly people

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why is your grandfather climbing up a pole? hes not

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Eight hours? Sigh, leave it to me then! We both know you are a sweetheart behind that thick skull of yours, I mean why would you ask if it bothers me then?

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Whi can't John sleep? Because he is dead!

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why did the black man rape the little girl? no reason, its just a part of life. oh well

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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What did Ed Gein get at McDonalds? The corpse of a worker he killed by the dumpster and hauled back to his shack to hang up and gut like a deer.

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AIDS

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knock knock whos there open open who the door

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My friends and family all recommended me for alcoholics anonymous, but all i had to say is that my father didn't raise me to be quitter.

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what do jews, blacks, and asians have in common? they have all been targets of racism!

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Got a card in the mail from my estranged uncle today. Yep.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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