If Sally has 4 apples and Dan has 3 apples, how many apples do they have together? Red, because ducks have 2 legs.

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GUY 1: Mann, I just got done working out, check out my forearms!!! GUY 2: You only have two silly!!

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If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

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What do you tell a woman with two black eyes? Nothing. You already told her twice.

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a horse walks into a bar and the bartender says "why the long face" the horse says "my son was just diagnosed with multiple sclerosis"

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Why did the black kid fail in school? Because of the achievement gap.

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In soviet Russia... there is a distinct probability that you will get mugged due to the high crime rate and gang ruled streets.

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Johnny just finished his pie.

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Why won't sharks attack lawyers? Humans tend to fight back, and sharks wouldn't usually be so hungry as to endanger their own lives in this way. Besides, most places where humans swim have shark barriers.

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Q:What type of cheese isn't yours? A:NACHO CHEESE!!!!!!!!!

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How many blondes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? Doesn't matter, the lightbulb was never out

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why was six afraid of seven? because seven eight nine

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If you die, and have 5 cents in your pocket, does the toast still land jelly side down?

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What do you call something round and red that tastes like a tomato and shoots through walls? A Super Tomato. And what do you call a banana that shoots through walls? A banana trying to be a Super Tomato.

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Why do some RVs have 2 doors? Because 11 would be too many.

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What do you pull when it's hailing. Your favorite electronic.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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What's worse than a worm in your apple? People posting the same joke over and over again.

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Why did the man float in the lake? Because he was dead.

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how do you refer to a guy with a backwards baseball cap and leather jacket and low riding? by his first name

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Three men of varying ethnic backgrounds jump off a building and yell different things as they fall to their death. They were all very good friends and neglected to have had a trip sitter watch them take hallucinogenics. The group of school children below the building are traumatized for a good portion of their lives.

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How do you wake Lady GaGa up? set her alarm for a reasonable hour.

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Q: Why cant Helen Keller drive? A: Because shes dead.

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Why didn't the skeleton go to the dance? He was buried under 6ft of solid earth.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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