Bob: The whale is a creature that isn't naturally capable of creating any kind of technologically advanced unit of operations? Spectator: Was that actually a question or a statement? Bob: To be candid, occasionally my mind registers the practically indelible impression that I am not competent enough to effectively articulate my relatively subtle thoughts of philosophical value. Spectator: What'd you attempt to explicate? Bob: Hello, contemporary. Spectator: That's definitely considerably better than, "Benevolent greeting to you, fellow indigenous inhabitants of the magnificant, planetary cynosure, Earth Prime." You've managed to improve! Bob: I shall try to emulate those simpletons of this planet in order to garner new allies. Maybe next time I should just stick with some traditional routines that many people currently practice on a daily basis. Now, it's time to examine some "test subjects" so to educate myself further on the nature of my numerous classmates, purported facillitators etc. Spectator: Bye. Bob: See you next time! Wow... I amaze myself with my ability to efficiently adapt to my circumstantial situations. I mean, I am a ninja student who has developed new skills at communication! Wait... nevermind. Bystander: man, were you just soliloquizing... and personally enjoying it? Bob: Ehhh,... No? Bystander: Was that a statement or a question?

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A man walked into a bar. He said "ow".

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Have you heard the one about the drunk cleaning lady? I haven't either but I bet it is good. That is a pretty good premise for a joke.

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What is the difference between a Jew and a Pizza? One is food the other, fuel.

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Roses are blue, Violets are green, I am color blind, You have cancer.

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son, you're adopted.

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If shes old enough to count..... Then having sex with her would be considered illegal.

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Why did the man burp? Because gases escaped from his stomach and came out of his mouth.

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What do you call a person falling off a cliff Dead

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once there was a man named steve. he happily sniffs pot every day after work. especially on sundays. one day, his family finds him sniffing pot. they are disgusted and disappointed in his bad decisions. so they join him

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if justin beiber was dating a girl what would you call him? a lesbian

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crips r blue bloodz r red choose crips nd thn ur dead (bloodz swoopp)

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What's a four letter word that ends with "rape"? Stop.

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What's worse than having a friend in a car accident? Laughing at their funeral.

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what do you call a pizza with a lot of jalapenos. spicy.

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Yo mama so fat she was diagnosed with diabetes and now has to regulate her daily intake of foods.

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A baby seal walks in to a club

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Why did the man smile at his wife? Because she had a silly looking face, like a fish.

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1+1= 69

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Character one: What did the blond say to the horse? Character two: you spelled blonde wrong.

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What's worse than forgetting how to spell? asghasonbma.

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whats red and smells like blue paint? half a painter.

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Why do firemen wear red suspenders? To keep their pants up

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What do you call a Mexican mixed with a platypus? a pineapple

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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