What did the farmer say when he lost his tractor? I've lost my tractor!

In the movie Dark Skies, little white boys were haunted by a mysterious force. The answer is obvious, isn't it? They are being haunted by Michael Jackson's ghost.

Why is six afraid of seven? Because seven three twelve. Am i doing it right?

One early Christmas morning i went downstairs. My mother told me that she had gotten me the ultimate stocking stuffer. It was a foot

The dog, Marley from Marley and Me. It died.

Kid: Mom I'm gonna dig a hole all the way to China! Mom: That's sweet but it's impossible dear. You'll get to tired after awhile to go any farther. Also, by any chance you did dig really deep, you would melt and die if you got the the center because the magma will kill you when you get to it. Alright son? Kid: What?

Why was OJ Simpson's knife covered in blood? Because he just murdered his wife.

What do a woman and a puzzle have in common? Both couldn't vote before 1920... the puzzles still can't vote

this is madness! Madness? no, nevah... THIS IS SPARTA!!!!!! NO, THIS IS PATRICK!!!

How do you piss off a blind person? Tell him to piss in a round room.

Why did Sarah fall off the swings? She had no arms Knock knock Who's there? Not Sarah

What do you say to seduce a woman? Is that a mustache? WTF!

What did the cute little girl get for Christmas? Raped

What did the pilot say to the female flight attendant? He told her to never tell his wife about the time they spent in mexico or he'd bludgeon her to death with a hammer.

You die of loss of blood, under a pile of first-aid kits

What did the horse say to the farmer who tried to feed him hay soup? I don't like that.

A dyslexic woman wears a bar.

There is a bunch of penguins and they fall of a cliff

What's better than 24-year-olds? Twenty 4-year-olds.

what is black and white and read all over? A penguin in a blender

"Wise old man, what is the meaning of life?" "I don't know why do people think old people are so wise these days?"

What did the tiger say to the jellyfish? Nothing; tigers can't talk. And if they could the chances of a tiger meeting a jellyfish would be very slim.

oh hey.

How many Chinese people does it take to change a light bulb? One.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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