Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Finding a worm in your BANANA.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Holy crap it's a talking muffin!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Yo mamma's so fat she attracts other matter with a force proportional to the product of their masses divided by the square of the distance.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's worse than the holicost? The ninja turtles

thumb_up thumb_down +5

In Soviet Russia it's pretty cold.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

So I was walking along the beach one day and I see this whale. Then this dolphin named Lennie came up and was like, "Hey whale, how've you been? I haven't seen you in a while." And the whale was like, "Sorry, but I can't talk to you." And Lennie was like, "Whyever not?" And the whale said, "Because I'm not a starfish!"

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the President fall down? He was assassinated. -mattobrado

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What's the difference between a Obama and a drug-dealer? I don't know what? I don't know, I was asking if you know...

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

thumb_up thumb_down +5

What did the man with no head say to the women?

thumb_up thumb_down +5

There once was a man from Peru. Who dreamed he was eating his shoe. I shot him in the head. With a bullet made of lead. So now he's dead. No more eating of shoes.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

thumb_up thumb_down +5

A:why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side =D B:...i dont think you fully grasp the concept of an anti joke yet...smh -.-

thumb_up thumb_down +5

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops