Why couldn't Johnny drive? He doesn't have arms or legs. Why didn't Johnny have arms or legs? Johnny is a potato

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Knock Knock Who's There? Poop. Poop who? HAHAHAHAHAHA you said poopoo

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A horse walks into a bar. "Why the long face?" asked the bartender. "It's genetic." replied the horse, amazed at the man's incapability to understand horses.

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What kind of doctors would you call A 30 year old chimpanzee? I would say "Plastic surgeon" but that would be unscrupulous to the chimpanzees because the tearing off or "lifting" of the owners face is because they are just animals. And should have never been kept in captivity that long anyways.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was dead... Why did the second monkey fall out of the tree? Because it was stapled to the first monkey... Why did the third monkey fall out of the tree? Because he thought it was a game...

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What's the difference between a black man and a white man? Their skin color.

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A person tells an anti-joke. Nothing out of the ordinary happens.

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A man goes to a gas station to pump gas in his car. After about 7 minutes, he leaves.

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What happened when Stephen Hawking tried to go down the stairs? He fell and suffered minor injuries.

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Why did the man open up a umbrella? Because it was raining..

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Q: How did the dead baby get to the other side of the road? A: I threw it over there.

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Why did Helen Keller's dog run away? You'd run away too if someone left the gate open and you happened to be a dog.

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What's long and sexy? The Eiffel Tower

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An old lady at an atm told me to check her balance So i pushed her over

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Why did the man leave anti-joke.com? Because he realized that it was time for dinner and the ham was burning.

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Wanna hear a good joke? Sure. So does Hellen Keller

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What is the diffrence between you and I. I am not sure because i have not meet you yet

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What did the man with no head say to the women?

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A:why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side =D B:...i dont think you fully grasp the concept of an anti joke yet...smh -.-

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how do you make a clown sad? you push it off a swing.

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Where do cows go in their free time? burger king.

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Why did the young teenager cut class? To cut himself! Get it?! Its a pun!

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A family walks into a talent agency. It's a father, mother, son, daughter and dog. The father says to the talent agent, "We have a really amazing act. You should represent us." The agent says, "Sorry, I don't represent family acts. They're a little too cute." The mother says, "Sir, if you just see our act, we know you would want to represent us." The agent says, "OK. OK. I'll take a look." The family performs an array of disgusting sexual acts. For the longest time, the agent just sits in silence. Finally, he manages, "That's a hell of an act. What do you call it?" And the father says, "It has no name."

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Why did the man complain of pain in his ankle? Because several consecutive tissue samples of the area revealed a rapidly metastasizing neoplasm. Blood samples indicated the presence of what appeared to be Hodgkins Lymphoma. He had multiple MRI's and bodily fluid tests to confirm the diagnosis. The man was very wealthy, however, and had world class doctors treat him. He then donated a vast portion of his wealth to research. 12% of the donated money went into studying the medicinal effects of Twinkies.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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