How many dead babies does it take to paint a wall? First of all, babies do not have the physical ability or the mental capacity to ever paint a wall, no matter how many of them there are. Second of all, they are dead which probably will not increase their chances of painting said wall.

Jacob Mckeand licks his gooch everynight. Some nights he even covers it in maple syrup. 'mmmmm' he thinks to himself as he licks his 7 inch gooch up and down.

In which state does the Mississippi River flow in? Liquid.

What's white and looks like paper? Paper

What did the Religious Education teacher teach on National Science Day? Religion, because that is the teacher's job.

What do you call a black person born in America? American.

What is the hardest thing about eating a vegetable? the wheelchair

When life gives you Live Aid, celebrate the fact that you've just gone back in time 27 years and somehow cheated death temporarily.

What is funnier than Miley Cirus getting a Record Album? Justin Bieber's voice.

A sheep croses the road It gets hit by a car.

Why wasn't the unplugged computer on?

An englishman, a german and a ginger are in a band. they play some creative music that some people may find enjoyable to listen to and would like to purchase a track.

Amanda Knox walks home free.

Q: how do you fit 100 jews in a car A: 3 in the back one in the passenger seat and 96 in the ash tray

Don't you just hate it when somebody is saying something interesting and they don't finish their sentence?

what happened to the kid who opened the goldfish? he got eaten by a cixelsyd dinosaur

Doctor Doctor I think I'm a dog. Sit down on the couch and tell me about it. Ok.

Why did Susie fall off the swing? She had no arms. Knock knock Who's there? Not Susie!

Yo mama so dumb she got hit by a bus and didn't know! The funeral was touching and sad. Everyone cried. 2 weeks later..........Johnson ended his own life.......

Ben Corbishley

Why can't Stevie Wonder read? Clearly the only answer is because he's blind

What's the difference between a black man and a orange? One is a fruit and other isn't

"Ask me if I'm a tree!" "Are you a tree?" "No."

What did the sun say to the moon ?? Nothing - they can't speak

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...