why did the cookie go to the doctor? he had to get a physical to be eligible for his school's football tryouts. his mom drove him there but was very careful not to get his hopes up too high since his chances of actually making the team were slim to none based on the fact that he had no arms or legs but only succulent chocolate chips in every bite.

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roses are red violets are blue polar bears are white grass tends to be green

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Dave: Knock, knock Steven: Come in.

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What do you call a penguin in the desert? Most likely a dead penguin.

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What did Reed read? A. Read?

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Why was the blonde confused? Because someone was dressed in a chicken costume throwing pinecones at her.

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you know whats worse than cantaloupe? no cantaloupe

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That awkward moment when a loved one dies.

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How do you kill a blonde? You wait until she dies of old age, then copyright her death.

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what is the difference between a baby and a book... The book still has a spine

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When life hands you melons it means you're dyslexic.

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what do you get when you combine sodium and hydroxide? sodium-hydroxide

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why did your mum die young because she had canser

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What did the little girl say to her mother? Nothing, the previous day the little girl was kidnapped and rapped by two 40 year old men and was eventually decapitated...she will never speak to her mother again.

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Why was the girl running out of the school? Because her principal was trying to rape her.

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How do you stop R Kelly from peeing on little girls? Kill all little girls.

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm bad at rhyming...... TITS

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Johnny Manziel is the best quarter ever (this isn't a joke just a true statement)

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What did Batman say to When they were heading to the Batmobile Robin get in the batmobile.

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Why did the boy fall off his bike? His mother threw a brick at him.

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What is green and fuzzy and when it falls from a tree, your dead? A pool table.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Me, wondering why your not naked.

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some people say that i am gay they are right cause i like boys

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs, lying outside of your house? An ambulance, he's clearly in trouble.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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