What has 389,236,587 arms, has rainbow colored fur, and fornicates on your front lawn? Absolutely nothing. That's pretty much physically impossible.

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A man walks into a bar with an MP5 and proceeds to fire thirteen bullets into a crowd of people, several unarmed bystanders attempt to disarm the gunman but they are promptly ordered to stay back or they too would be fired on, a witness reports gunfire coming from down the street to local emergency services and they arrive quickly, organising a perimeter around the bar, county sherriffs decide it would be safest to wait for a swat team, as reports indicated the gunman may have hostages, however the gunfire appears to have ceased an noone has entered or exited the building since police arrived on scene. As SWAT arrives on scene and media helicopters circle above, a person emerges from the bar and the gunman appears behind him, he shoots and kills the hostage and then turns the gun on himself, the death toll reached sixteen including the gunman and as many as fourteen people were injured. there was no clear motive to the massacre, but a search of his appartment indicated he was tired of one-liners on typical joke sites and felt his wife's betrayal with his best friend was too much to bare and he simply snapped after losing his job in the current economic situation.

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What is the different between going to church and reading a newspaper? You can take your shoes off when you read a newspaper.

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How do you kill a jew? Same way you would anyone

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Why did the clown fall off the unicycle? Because I shot him in the face.

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Q: Why did the chicken cross the road? A: This is actually a really good question which leads me to wonder why the farmer let the chicken out in the first place.

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What did the farmer say to the chicken? Nothing, the farmer was arrested for having sex with a chicken.

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Why was the doctor unable to perform his surgery properly? Because he forgot his scalpel

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What's a Hillbilly's last words? I won't be here much longer, so take care of the kids. I love you.

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whats funnier than throwing a baby off a cliff cathcing him at the bottom with a pitch fork

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Why do dinosaurs have no friends? Because they are dead

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Knock knock Who's there? Chicken Chicken who? I can't believe you're talking to a chicken

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What do you call a person with 4 arms? A normal person. (fore arms) (meant to be audible)

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Where did the cow go? To the slaughter house!!!

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An asian man walks into a bar and lights a cigarette. He is politely asked to leave due to smoking being prohibited indoors.

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Where is aodhan's ma? Jail, she was cought with a bag full of the white powder.

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what is like a duck and quacks ? A duck.

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Where would Tupac be if he was white? Not the morgue

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How would a camel lick its own tongue It doesn't It actually gets karate chopped by Bob Sager.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Tulips can be of multiple colors.

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What is worse than braking a fingernail, Learing that a clown raped your entire family

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what do blondes and rocks have in common? they are both material and have extension.

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What do you say to a disabled man in a lift? Have a nice day.

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Why was there no girl on the swing set? She decided to get off of the swings.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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