A Chinese man, a Mexican man, and an American man are all on a plane in-flight when the pilot screams over the intercom, "We are two pounds over weight! The plane is going down unless you all throw off useless things that have no value in your countries!" The Chinese man throws out a pair of chopsticks and an egg roll and says, "I have too many of those in my country." The Mexican does the same with a taco and sombrero, repeating, "I have too many of those in my country." The American looks around his items pondering what things are too common in the USA. He locks his eyes on the Mexican. The other passengers are shocked as the American throws off a hamburger and a football.

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Two monkeys are sitting in a tree. One monkey looks to the other monkey and says, "I bet I can jump from this tree to the next tree without falling." The other monkey replies, "I'm sure you could. You're a monkey."

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Man: Would you like to see someone Man 2: Sure Man: How bout the inside of an ambulance

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A horse walks into a bar, the bartender asks "Why the long face?". The horse being a horse and doesnt understand english is confused and scared by its surroundings it gallops away knocking over a few tables.

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A: Knock knock B:The door is open.

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Why did the boy wipeout on his bike? An old man threw a snake in front of his tire

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Two men are walking down the street. They both don't make eye contact and continue walking.

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What did the ant say to the bush? Ernest Borgnine.

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What did the Apostle John say to Jesus of Nazareth? "Oh, blow it out your butthole."

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How do you make a clown stop smiling? hit him with an axe

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Why did the plane crash? Because the pilot was a tomato.

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A: What dose God listen to? B: Slayer. A: Trick Question, God=Slayer

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whats short blonde and speaks spanish? my spanish teacher Mrs. Inman

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roses are red violets should be purple

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I have Alzheimer's, but at least I don't have Alzheimer's.

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A man walks into a bar He wakes up from his coma 21 years later and learns that humans now serve pumpkins as gods.

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how come jenny could not fall asleep? their was a man standing outside her window holding a knife

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What do you call a really old black person? Someone's grandfather

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What's worse than finding a snake in your apple? Finding a snake in your apple

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Q. What you call a Guy with no arms an no legs in the water? A. Bob

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Hello. my name is Rhys. and i'm the only person who liked this post.

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Why did the cat cross the street? It didn't. I cut off its arms and legs so it couldn't walk.

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It's caoimhin I wasnt writing cos kane turned my computer off the bel end aodhans been tuping sayin its be the spa.

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you know why Michael J Fox makes the best milkshakes? no... but his milkshakes brings all the boys to the yard

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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