What did the ice cream man ask the little boy? Want some ice cream?

thumb_up thumb_down -25

So a jelly bean walks into a bar. The bartender asks him "whatchuu doin here jelly bean" the jelly bean doesn't respond and sits there awkwardly because he neither speaks English nor has the brain capacity to move or breathe. The bartender closes the store and comes back the next day to find the bean in the same awkward position.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How the hell do you know? What are you Nero? You are completely right! I was going to say I got no blue tie, but then I forgot you often call ribbons for ties... How? Should I be scared? I am not, no wonder you never felt human... I am shocked, I cant think straight I am confused and... Sorry Nero, Goodnight, if nothing else, you are no demon, but rather an angel, sweet dreams love. The solvemedia says the bible, this is freaky, my mind is numb.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A horse walked into a bar. The bartender said "why the long face?" The horse then panicked, and feeling threatened, it kicked the bartender with its hind legs and galloped out of the bar. A civilian took immediate control of the situation and dialed the number for animal control, who arrived shortly and tranquilized the deer and put it back in its natural habitat. Don't worry, that didn't actually happen

thumb_up thumb_down -25

There were three soap salesmen in a bar. They were comparing how good they were at selling their wares. "I'm so good that I sell 60% of my soap bars each day," says the first salesman, bragging. The second one wasn't to be outdone. "I'm so good that I sell 80% of my soap bars," he declared. The last salesmen, who, up to the moment had been relatively quiet, suddenly said in a calm and collected manner, "Oh that's nothing. I'm so good that I sell all of my soap bars each day."

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A man offered a little boy a ride home. He drove the boy home where his father preceeded to beat him senseless.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do a fish and a helicopter have in common? Neither of them is a police officer.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's red but smells like blue paint? Red paint.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A:how many notzies dose it change a light bulb B:none they made the jewish do it. :(

thumb_up thumb_down -25

A Gamer walks into the tavern, the bartender says to him, "just dont act like you control the place!"

thumb_up thumb_down -25

how many black men did it take to steal from the whitehouse? Obama.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Wanna hear a joke? Your life.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Roses are Red Violets are Blue I just sharpened this hatchet Don't make me use it!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a woman in the kitchen? Her name.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Did you know, I have a black man in my family tree? He works for a lawn service.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What's blue and looks like water? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why did the man eat a human heart? Because he was part of a dangerous, religious cult.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did one muffin say to the other muffin? Nothing, because they weren't made. Cupcakes were made instead. Sorry, Muffins.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

How do you get a baby to be quiet? Put it in the oven for a few minutes

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What did the catholic priest do to the little boy in the Confessions Took his confessions

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Q: How did the man walk across the road? A: With his own 2 feet!

thumb_up thumb_down -25

What do you call a black man that can steal, shoot, and jump? A basketball player.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Why was the homosexual sad? Because his parents kicked him out, it was illegal for him to be married, and he had a difficult time being accepted by the society into which he was born.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

why didn't bob die? because he liked his hair just the way it was.

thumb_up thumb_down -25

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops