What's black and white and red all over. Nothing, that's a contradiction.

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A father and his son get into an accident and are whisked away to the hospital. The father dies, and the son is brought into surgery. The doctor is rushed in, but looks at the boy and says "I can operate on this boy, his my son." How is this possible? The boy's father was a zombie.

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"Everyone be very quite. Dont say a word or well get eaten by the big, fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "A word or well get eaten by the big fat stupid ugly fat faced dinosaur in that cave over there." "Look how clever Charles is now were all screwed."

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Q: Why is asprin white? A: It works.

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Praise Paisley

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, Now that we got our colors straight. Hey, how ya doin?

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Why was blueberry flavoured bubblegum cancelled? Because it tasted like soup.

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rock-a-bye baby on the treetop When the wind blows The bass will drop!

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Have you seen the blind man's new house? No. Neither has he.

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Q: what do you call a person who's ass is dumb A: a dumbass

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Your mama's so stupid, she gave birth to YOU.

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whats every colour and loved by everyone Mario

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There once was a man named Steve. One day, Steve stumbled stupidly, shredding his shirt, shoes and shorts and subsequently shocking Susie; a small shy salsa student. When he arrived home, Steve's wife asked "how was your day dear?" Steve panicked at the thought of having to explain this traumatic event, but thankfully he had undergone speech therapy for his lisp.

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Why did the blonde fail her drug test? She's actually never did drugs before but since she didn't show up for appointment, that counts as an automatic fail.

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What happened to the turtle that was on land Dead

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How many Polacks does it take to change a lightbulb? Two, one to change the lightbulb, one to hold the ladder.

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What's tall black and has curly hair? A black guy

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What do you call a kid with leukemia and no arms? Names.

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Why was the women not in the kitchen? Because she was probably doing something else

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read this sentence again.

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How many times have I said the word shingles? twelve.

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Knock Knock ...Does anybody know how to use a goddamn door bell these days?

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Why did Jimmy eat the apple? Because he was obese and needed to eat healthy because his doctor suggested it.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? to get to the other side... (other side as in the afterlife, for it committed suicide by crossing the road)

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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