A cat walks into a bar, the bartender says "pussy?"

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There were 3 children: Flower, Petal and Fridge. Flower asked, "Mum, why is my name Flower?" to which she replied "Because a flower was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Petal asked, "Mum, why is my name Petal?" to which she replied "Because a petal was the first thing to fall on you when you were born." Fridge said, "Herp derp dur" to which Fridge's mother replied "Shut up, Fridge."

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I haven't been this tired since the last time I was tired

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How do you wake up Lady Gaga? Set a firework off on her face.

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How many jews does it take to change a light bulb? Well none today because today is Saturday... maybe tomorrow

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Roses are red Violets are blue I'm schizophrenic And so am I

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-How much wood would a woodchuck chuck, if a woodchuck could chuck wood? -Probably a decent amount.

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Sarah Palin's political campaign

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, The first line is spelled wrong, Ha, I tricked you

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If you have a dinosaur, how many bicycles do you need to do your homework? Yes, because chewing gums would ask if Greg can go to the handball match.

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A woman walks up to a man in a supermarket and asks him where she can find the potatos. He says "I think they are all the way at the end on aisle 3" "Thanks" she says. Then she gets to aisle 3, and there aint no potatos!!!!

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Roses are red Violets are blue Tulips are yellow Grass is green

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how do you win a game try your best

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Why did the little girl fall off the swing? Because she had no arms. Why did she fall again? Because somebody put her back on. Why wasn't she able to hug her dad? Because she has no dad.

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Wanna hear a joke? Your contact list.

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What did the Nazi Death Camp Guard say to the escaping prisoner? - Nothing. He shot him in his face.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? His whole family killed themselves.

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Did you know that Obama wasn't born in the United States*? *the contiguous United States

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What did the little boy with a terminal illness get for Christmas? A gun

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What does it mean when somebody is Jewish? They eat palahuardo por sinquevos for breakfast. Qua.

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They say duck tape can fix every thing, Not my grandma's cancer for that matter.

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Knock Knock! Who's there? ... THE DOOR!!

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How do you get a bent nail out of a board? You carefully pry it out with the back of the hammer.

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Why couldn't the journal cross the street? Because there was a red light.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops