What do you do if you walk in on your wife atempting to hang herself in the living room? Ask her to leave the living room, as it would be ironic.

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What's worse than walking into your parents room while their have sex? Getting no-scoped by zzirgrizz

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Have you seen the newest starwars? What movie? I mean that episode where stars fight... Will Smith vs Keanu Reeves? I am talking about the stars in the sky firing at each other! You know, those star pilots on planes... Flown by Will Smith and Keanu Reeves? BOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOM! (You heard that one in your head)

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What's the difference between Republicans and Democrats? There is a series of boxes which one can choose to check on a ballot, officially registering an individual with a certain party. Available parties include the Green Party, The American Communist Party, The Republican Party, and the Democratic Party among others. Republicans choose to check the Republican box, Democrats choose to check the Democrat box. Also Republicans are closet homosexuals and Democrats are terrorists.

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why did the man choke at the lunch table. Police there is a banana attacking me what should I do?

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, I'm colorblind.

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What's the difference between an apple and a baby. An apple is a fruit. A baby is a human being.

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What does the ice cream man say to the kids? Hey kids want some ice cream?

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why did the guy laugh at everything he was high

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Q: Why did they bury the Indian? A: Because he was dead.

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What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

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Yo mama's so fat, she had a lap-band procedure.

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Why was six afraid of seven? Back when seven was in Vietnam, he sufferd Posttraumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and constantly has flash backs and irrational thoughts of six being with the veitnamese alliance and tries to viciously molest six whenever he runs out of anxiety medication.

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Q: Why are pine trees green? A: Because of the green pigments in the leaves known as chlorophyll which are used to capture sunlight.

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Knock Knock Who's there? Mike Mike who? Just kidding, it's Danny. Oh okay, come in.

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Where did Wendy decide to work for her part time job? TACO BELL

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Q. Why do some people not like anti-jokes? A. They don't find the humor funny.

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What do you call a blonde person? By her name.

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How do you make a person who wins the lottery sad? You threaten to kill his family.

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A man walks into a bar his alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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I was bangin this girl and she kept yelling the wrong name. Who's rape??

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What did the homeless man get for Christmas? - Nothing This homeless man got a gift for his Birthday. What happened to the gift? - It got stolen the following day What did this homeless man get for New Year? - Still nothing Get real.

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What did the black guy do in the hood? walked down the street, bought the paper and watched Letterman.

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You see the love of your life. You can't say anything. She walks toward you. You can't move. She sits on you. You can't do anything. She starts crapping on you. You realize your a toilet. -Adam Chebali

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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