Hey guess what? What? You're a Tree.

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Q. Why can’t a Skeleton Lift Weights? A. He’s all bone & no muscle.

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why didn't the chicken cross the road? It was very unhealthy, and had a heart attack attempting too

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Knock knock Who's there? Nobody Oh, ok

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You should get a new joke book............ because the newest edition has just be released

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What is the difference between a calendar and you? A calendar has dates!!

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what do you call a black man in a cop car? a policeman

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How many amish people does it take to screw in a light blub? None as the amish don't require artificial light

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What did one dog say to the other? Nothing silly...dogs can't talk.

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Why can't Larry drive? Because he doesn't have his license, and his temps expired!

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A talent agency is giving auditions and is just about to rap it up when a family shows up. They reluctantly agree to their "brief" audition given that they had found no suitable talent that day. The routine starts with the father starting 6 chainsaws at once while simultaneously starting a juggling/lumberjacking routine. His beautiful wife proceeds to toss him additional chainsaws (as he continually throws them for dramatic effect) while also maintaining a hypnotizing dance which seems to drain your desire to leave from your very soul. The children take turns jumping in between the chainsaws while doing a silent replay of the movie, "Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon." After it plays out the father tosses the final chainsaw up in the air which lands standing straight, quivering in the dust of the studio. The studio manager says, "Why that's an AMAZING act!! I'll sign you right now! What do you call your act?" In response to which, the father shits on his desk.

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Q: What do you call an orange if it isn't orange? A: Nothing. Chances are you won't see it until it has ripened.

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A Sodium atom walks into a bar. A Chlorine atom bumps into it, taking the electron, then making a bond. Suddenly, the police come in. They arrest the Chlorine atom, of course, but they also arrest the Sodium atom. He says, "what did I do?" The policemen say, "you're too ugly to be out in public."

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Cry me a river. Then build a bridge and become a structural engineer.

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"Wow, that was so funny i fell off my dinosaur!" Dinosaurs went extinct in the late Cretaceous period, about 65 million years ago. Commonly believed by scientists across the world to have been caused by an ancient meteor that crashed in the current day Yucatán peninsula in Mexico. Also, even if you were around during the Cretaceous period, i assure you that no dinosaur would let you climb on top of it, let alone ride it while you're not highly terrified because of the sheer danger of the experience. Now unless you are 65 million years old, I highly doubt you laughed so hard that you fell off the dinosaur that you supposedly own.

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Why did the man have a finger coming out of his ear? He had a birth defect.

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Why do dragons shoot fire? I don't know, I'm asking you the question.

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What do you call a black man who lands on the moon? An astronaut...f*cking racist.

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Why is The stop sign bent? Because a ambulance full of sick kids hit it.

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Guess what Timmy got for Christmas, Nothing, Timmy has no parents, he's an orphan.

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you know what? CHICKEN BUTT. butt of chicken ahahahaa

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Why is yellow afraid of 7? Impossible. Colors have no sense of fear.

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What do u call a joke with no punchline? An anti-joke

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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