Why did the chicken cross the road? It's hard to tell, but i could really use a cigarette.

Why did the black man drown? Because he grew up in a poor neighborhood, where no one had a pool, and so he never learned how to swim

Teacher: Why didn't you do your homework? Student: My friends told me not to. Teacher: So if your friends tell you to go jump off a bridge, would you do it? Student: Well, it all depends on if I land on a fat kid. Like Chubb. Chubb: Yeah, I know, my eating habit, i-i-its a big problem. -Payden R.

How do you turn a dishwasher into a snowblower? Give her a shovel

What did the little boy want to be when he grew up? A cone

Why are the dinosaurs extinct? A meteor hit the Yucatan Peninsula and caused a blast that covered the earth and killed them all.

I once met a giraffe, It needed a bath, When I turned on the water, It started to swim, Because it was actually a fish.

What does a Jewish woman do to keep her hands soft and her nails long Nothing at all

how did the snake fly? it couldnt snakescant fly

What did the surgeon say to the patient? Nothing. The patient died on the table.

Knock knock Fuck off!

why did suzie fall off the swing? because shes autistic and her mother likes to abuse her.

Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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Q:What happened after the snake tricked Adam and Eve into eating fruit from the tree of wisdom? A: Nothing, but the three of knowledge was a whole other story though. Moral Man.

What do you get when you cross a computer with a whore? A:porn

A guy dared his friend to jump off a bridge for 10 bucks. His friend, fearing for his life did not jump.

A black man accidentally walks into a white man. They apologize to each other and carry on with the rest of their day.

What would you call the flinstones if they were black? Ni**gers

BOYS ARE DUMB AND THEY SMELL FUNNY AND IM ANGRY

Why couldn’t the bicycle stand up on its own? The kickstand was broken and the child whom of which owned the bicycle no longer had the need for training wheels.

knock, knock! who's there? i don't know i don't know who niether do i...

Why did the constipated man go to the bathroom? To intentionally throw up; he has an eating disorder.

What's the difference between my dog and my wife? I respect my dog.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

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