Light travels faster than sound, thats why people look smart until they talk.

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Why did the boy go back in time? He didn't. He was mutilated by rabid apes.

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Why did the legless person roll down a hill? Because he was in a wheelchair

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why did the girl chug her tub of frosting? she had no spoon

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Two peanuts were walking down the street I stepped on them both

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Why did the puppy get shot? It lived in Detroit.

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if u read this u r bent A. Now your bent

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Q: What is the first thing you do if you wake up and meet the entire justice league(!!!) Which tells you that you are the "chosen one" and that only you can save the world once your true powers awaken? A: Increase your schizo medication.

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I see London, I see France... I see a Map.

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Q: What did the homeless man get on his Birthday? A: Hypothermia.

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What happens when you breed a T-rex and a mammoth? You can't, both animals are extinct.

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what do you get when you cross a baby and a car a baby shaped dent, and a dead baby

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Why was the woman arrested for trying to have sex with a miner? Because he was on the job and her advances were completely unwanted.

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What did the doctor say to the seriously ill patient? Eiiiiijajajaajaja EIIIIJAAAA

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Kid 1 "Man this is the hardest poop i've ever taken." Kid 2 "Maybe it's because you ate the Happy Meal toys." Kid 1 "You know what? I think you're right. Commotion ensues as the toilet bowl fills with blood as the action figure has cut the inside of his large intenstine. He is screaming in pain. Kid 2 reacts quickly getting him to the hospital just making it in time before Kid 1 passes out. Thankfully he survives but has to get shrgery. Meanwhile, the family dog Buster decides to drink the blood poop water from the bowl and dies from poisining.

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How do you kill a blonde? The blonde you were planning on killing, Sarah, arrives home from a rather tiring run. She lets her hair down from her ponytail, and even though she is a little sweaty At the moment, you realize what a beautiful woman she really is. You decide to ask her to marry You, and after she says yes, you two make passionate love in the front seat Of your 2011 Cadillac Escalade.

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What's the difference between Little Billy and Ice Cream? People like Ice Cream.

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Roses are red, Violets are blue, MAKE ME EAT LEMONS, I ATE U!

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Yo mamas so dirty she has to take showers regularly so the stench of her pungent body odor is at a minimum.

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Why doesn't the little boy talk to his mom? Because she smells like barbecue sauce.

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roses are red violets are red i smell my wife nows shes dead

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Can Anti-Jokes censor curse-word tenses? Fuck Fucking Fucked Fucks

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Roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, violets are blue, roses are red, I have amnesia.

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What is big, grey, has 8 wheels, can fly, swim and walk. I dunno. Thats why I'm asking

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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