An Australian man walking in Manhattan is approached by another man who pulls out a switchblade and says, "give me your wallet or I'll stab you with this knife!" The Australian man hands over his wallet. A nearby police officer witnesses this the last moment of the mugging, arrests the criminal and returns the Australian's belongings.

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Why does the chicken cross the road? 4

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What's the hardest part about watching a 2 year old get hit by a bus? Trying not to laugh.

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A man walks into a grab and go restaurant and asks the man if he can stay, the man replies "yes."

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Patient- Doctor! I feel like a piece of ****! Doctor- What is ****? Patient- It's four dots on the computer screen representing a curse word. Doctor- What computer screen?

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How do you make a professional wrestler cry? You don't

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What's the difference between a Ferrari and a dead baby? I don't have a Ferrari in my garage.

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So there was a guy in the middle of the street, how did he survive? ...He doesnt because he gets hit by a car becuase hes in the middle of the street...

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Guess what? What? Your dog is dead.

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Your momma's so fat that she contracted type 2 diabetes and died at a young age because obesity is a huge problem in America.

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Roses are purple violets are green I am color blind shut up

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why do the jewish guy and italian girl talk? i dont know why any decent minded italian would talk to a jew so i don't know.

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How many electricians does it take to fix a light bulb? One

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What do you call 10 black people swimming down a current? A happy family

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Whats worst than a cold? Being shot in the face repeatadly by a rocket launcher until death.

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Why are black men's genitals larger than white men's genitals. Black men's genitals are made up of more skin cells.

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curtis campbell has no ear lobes so he bought some milk and drank it with his cereal.

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What can a pizza do that a Jew can't? Pizzas can't do anything, so the answers are infinite.

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What color is Michael Jackson? Pale because he's dead.

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Roses are cars, violets are rude, this poem makes no sense, neither do you

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What do you call a panda without a head? Dead.

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I HATE GEORGE LOPEZ

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The stone said to tree I wanna be car the tree replied you cant be a car. Forever a stone

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Q: What do you call a pair of dead babies lying on the ground? A: Slippers

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops