If life hands you lemons your probably hallucinating.

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Jesus walks into a hotel, slams four nails down on the counter, and says, "Put me up for the night!" The concierge looks at him and says, "You're not Jesus. Jesus was brutally murdered approximately 1,970 years ago. And although I may not be a believer, his teachings have brought comfort and solace to millions of people around the world. Nor do we accept nails as payment. Please remove yourself from the premises or I will call security."

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Why did timmy fall off his bike? Someone threw a fridge at hm

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Little boy: Daddy, daddy, I know what i want for Christmas! Dad: Oh really? and whats that? Little boy: I want a bicycle! Dad: Why my son? You are already on a wheelchair...

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Why did the chicken cross the road? It had gotten out of its coop.

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What day is it today? It's "Jack Daniels Day" according to that guy with the shopping cart filled with kittens.

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Why did the squirrel across the river upside down? So it could keep its nuts dry.

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Why did Sally fall off the swing? Why? Because she has no arms. Knock. Knock. Who's there? Not Sally

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Your mom is so ugly, she suffers from severe depression and regularly contemplates suicide.

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Christ is a conspiracy

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A man climbs a tree, falls, and breaks his legs. He will never walk again

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Why should you never eat a jellyfish on a Wednesday? Because it will sting you with its poison.

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How do you find dennis ferguson? Look at danyons bckground

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Why couldn't the little boy tie his shoes? He had no arms

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Q: If your riding down the Nile on a boat and your boat springs a leak, how many boxes of pancake mix does it take to fix the hole? A: 58, because Koalas are marsupials

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Q. why did the black man cross the road? A. Cause there is no law saying he cant

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Why is Michael J. Fox so go at dance? Because he took lesson as a child

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A man comes into a bar. Wait, it's a horse. A man comes into a horse.

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A man walks into a butchers and asks for a loaf of bread the butcher replies " no im a butcher" The man says " its ok my bikes outside"

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Q. What did the kid with no arms and no legs get for Christmas? A. Cancer

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I see said the blind man to his deaf wife as his crippled son pushed him in his wheelchair.

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How do you make your father cry? Poke him in the eye with a shovel, then continue to lower his self esteem with insults.

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Why did the fish look like a human? Because it was a person, drowning.

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Knock knock Whos there? Sorry, wrong house,goodbye!

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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