Why was the road crossed by the chicken? Because as an animal, incapable of understanding human languages and consequently lacking in education, it was unable to understand the convention of not using the passive voice in English prose writing.

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Whats long and black and goes around corners? The unemployment line.

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A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected: a half-gallon of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee and a 1 lb. package of bacon. As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. While the cashier was ringing up her purchases, the drunk calmly stated, “You must be single.” The woman was a bit startled by this proclamation, but she was intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, since she was indeed single. She looked at her six items on the belt and saw nothing particularly unusual about her selections that could have tipped off the drunk to her marital status. Curiosity getting the better of her, she said “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct. But how on earth did you know that?” The drunk replied, “Cause you’re ugly.”

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My mind is like full of holes so I cannot remember where I am anymore, and I am tired in addition, but say, what the hell is a tussle? Sounds cute, but what is that?

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What do you call a dead blond in a coset? Last years hide and seek winner.

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Why did the butcher have blood on his hands? He murdered his daughter.

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What's worse than having embaracing parents? A: they are of the same sex

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I'm on the Seafood Diet. I eat seafood to replace fatty red meats, in conjunction with fruit and vegetables.

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Why is Osama dead? He got shot.

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what do you get when you give a man viagra? A man with an erect penis. Viagra is known to increase blood flow and vascularization in the penis, allowing for erections for people with erectile dysfunction.

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What do you get when you cross a pug and a beagle? A cross pug and a cross beagle.

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A life-sized cardboard cut out of Justin Bieber was in a contest with a cut out of Liam Neeson. It was stiff competition.

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What do you get when you cross a spider with a cow? A dead spider.

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So a woman walks out of a kitchen, she is instantly mauled by a bear.

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Q:Why is the WMBA so unsuccessful? A:Barely anyone watches it

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what does the monster eat after going to the dentist? the dentist

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Q. why did the chicken cross the road A. damn it this joke is a million years old shut up

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Thats so awesome, I was totally not not going to tell you and when I saw I did not not type it I totally did it anyways, but why did it last even though stuff timed out? I am like so wet.

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My brother is crazy... crazy like a fox! I caught him eating a Possum on the side of the road yesterday.

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Where did Sudie go during the bombing? Everywhere.

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What is worse than a bee sting? Two bee stings.

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Women's Rights..

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How do you punish Hellen Keller Move the furniture around

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? It was dead.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops