how do you open a can of coke with no tab? throw a washing machine at it

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A man walks into a bar. He realizes that he would need a designated driver if he would want to return home safely. So he then leaves.

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And now a word from our sponsors

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Systemic oppression.

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Q. Why do cheetahs run so fast? A. Because their bodies allow them to.

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Maths.

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What did the mexican say to the other mexican? Lets go get some tacos.

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Did you hear about the man who lost his right arm and left leg... He's ok now he's all right.

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Jesus, Mohammed, and Moses all walk into a bar. They sit down at a table and glare at each other before turning to watch the baseball game. They support opposing teams.

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How can you make sure your friend wont die of cancer? Decapitate him

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What Would George Washington say if he were alive to day. why are all the slaves free?

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How do you torture Helen Keller? You put her on a table and slowly pull her limbs off

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Q:how do you fit 100 jews in a car? A:2 in the front 3 in the back and the other 95 in the ashtray

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TONIGHT WE DINE IN HELL! Cant we just dine at McDonalds? ITS THE SAME THING! Moral: Personally I love the taste of cardboard meat...

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What do a rubix cube and a penis have in common? The more you play with it the harder it gets.

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what did the guy say to the goose? i know you don't understand but my life sucks. my wife just dumped me for another man and my kids hate me. thank you. you are the only one to understand.

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An Asian man walks into a bar and ask the Barman for a beer, the Barman is racist and therefore tells the Asian man to leave his pub. The man goes home and drowns his children in the bath and pushes his wife down the stairs, he is found out by the police and is given a life sentence in jail. 5 years later the Barman kills someone in a bar fight and is also sent to jail for life. The Barman meats the Asian man in prison and they settle there differences with a handshake. Two days later the Barman was stabbed in the neck.

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Why can't so many guys get it up? Because erectile dysfunction affects 30 million men nationwide.

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Knock Knock Whos There? I'p I'p who? HAHAHAHA

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Roses are smiling, violets are trying to kill me. DId I mention I'm a paranoid schizophrenic?

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Why did the black person eat fried chicken Because fried chicken tends to be an abundant food in the African American community and that was the quickest and cheapest weekend afternoon food source nearest to his house. It is also found in many other communities throughout the country and even the world. Oh yeah, he was hungry

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Why is the baby not crying? Because it died of herpes. JUST KIDDING! Babies can't get herpes.

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A black man shoots someone. He was a cop and he killed a dangerous man who attacked him.

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Yo mama is so old, she might die soon! - Louis

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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