- Anti Joke

What do you get if Justin Bieber and Miley Cyrus have a baby? The apocalypse

Wanna hear a race joke?.....whoops, ya missed it

Q: Why was six afraid of seven? A: seven raped six's mom

In soviet russia, the cow milks you!

are you MC Donald's because I'm lovin' it!

How do you make a baby crawl in circles? Nail its hand to the ground

knock knock whos there? ughh omg youre dying what yeah dear god ok ill call 911 no im fine its just a seizure ok get well soon

A man is on an operating table. His heart stops beating and he suddenly finds himself at the Gates of Heaven. St. Peter approaches him. "Welcome, my son," St. Peter says. "I can't believe it," the man exclaims, "I've died and gone to Heaven! I-" St. Peter interrupts him. "Not quite yet, my son. You must first answer three questions. You will only enter Heaven if I deem you fit to do so." The man nervously agrees. "All right. First question," St. Peter says. "Did you ever commit a sin and never sought forgiveness?" The man thinks long and hard. "No, I always made sure to apologize." "Splendid," St. Peter responds. "Did you attend church every Sunday?" The man loses some of his former confidence. "I may have missed the odd week." "That's fine," says St. Peter. "One last question... Do you believe you are worthy of entering the Gates of Heaven?" The man answers nervously, "Well... yes, yes I do." St. Peter smiles. "Congratulations, my son. You have passed the test, and may enter Heaven!" The man is ecstatic as the pearly gates open up for him. He enters Heaven and is astounded by its magnificent beauty. The man then loses all brain function and dies on the operating table.

What does a Cuban do when he gets a flat tire? He pulls over and replaces it.

A shoemaker walks into a bar holding a shoebox with only one shoe inside. The bartender gives him a drink and asks "Say mister, why are you carrying that shoebox with one shoe?" The shoemaker says "Well sir, it's a long story." The bartender says "Okay, give me the short version." The shoemaker says "Okay, long story short, I'm not really a shoemaker." The bartender asks "Well buddy, what are ya?" The shoemaker gets up from his chair and says "I'm a guy missing shoe."

Your mom is so nerdy that she probably went to college, got her degree, then found a very successful job in a field that she finds interesting.

A man was walking down the street in the pitch black dark and he looked into a pitch black dark window. What did he see? Pitch black dark people.

What did the mother say to her son when she saw his report card? I don't know. I wasn't there.

A man goes to the doctor's office. The doctor says, "I have some bad news, and some worse news. The bad news is you have alzheimer's. The worse news is you have cancer." The man breaks down in tears, realizing that his life as he knew it is over, and recognizing the horrible burden he is about to become on his family, both financially and emotionally.

A Mormon walks out of a bicycle store.

ah-ah. the proper response to an anti joke.

Once upon a time there was a small poor boy in a small German village. Her was name Smalls. Later he found out that he had to go back to Virginia because of their family then she got milk and went to the play that night like he was planning, and it was probably a problem with the clutch or transmission. It was fine because Smalls was 64 years old.

Where do you find a dog with no legs ? Same place you left it ...

"Knock Knock." "Who's there?" "I am." "Okay, come in."

what do you tell a woman with two black eyes? nothing, you already told her twice.

Your mamma so fat she bungie jumped straight to hell

What's the meaning of life? I forgot to write it down.

Roses are Red I shit in your Stew When you eat it The joke is on you

whats the difference between a thousand dead babies and a porshe? i dont have a porshe in my garage

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

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