A girl is talking with her boyfriend - God, you're selfish!!! - No, i sell meat.

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Q: Why was jimmy's mom crying? A: Because her doctor said their were going to get rid of he cancer, 5 minutes later hey came back in and told her that he had made a mistake and that was for someone else, she was actually only had a month to live.

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these guys im about to shoot owen,john,henry,shawn

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Your mom is so fat that when she wears a yellow raincoat outside, people notice a rather large woman who is enjoying the weather and wearing a yellow raincoat.

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Q: What has no color, no shape, no size, and was born in your mind? A: The thought you just had about this anti-joke.

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Why did the serial killer need the knife? He needed to butter his bread

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Why are black people scared of chainsaws? Because the chainsaws go run nigga nigga run.

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Why did the elephant die? It was murdered by poachers for it's valuable ivory tusks.

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What did Stephen Hawking say to his daughter? Nothing, his illness prevents him from talking. And letting a high-tech wheelchair make human sounds isn't talking!!!

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A skeleton walks into a bar, asks for a mug of beer and a washcloth.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? An Irishman with a metal bar (like a pole)

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My diick won't stop barking unless I take it for a walk, problem is, I can't find a leash big enough

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What did the black man do when he found a bucket full of KFC chicken on the ground? He promptly looked around for anyone who might have bought it. After searching around, with no takers, he ate some of the chicken and saved the rest. He brought it back to his apartment and left it in his fridge, so he may later eat it as leftovers.

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Why was the girl unhappy with her male teacher? Because he gave her a bad grade...and raped her the night before.

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What did the transvestite say to the fox? 'scuse me, you've got something on your shoe.

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How do you blind an Asian man You stab him six times in each eye socket and drop cyan pepper in his eye wound.

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How do you get a Jew into a car? Tell him to get i the car.

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Do ya like waffles? Ya we like waffles.

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Why did Hitler shoot himself? Because he found out Chuck Norris was a Jew.

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What's black and White and black and White? A nun falling down a stairs

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I worship you Nero, and I wont even begin to explain myself why.

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whats red and green and has 8 wheels. a stick

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What do you call someone who kills a black man? A murderer

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Buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo buffalo buffalo Buffalo buffalo. The prior sentence is a grammatically correct sentence in American English.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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