Q. What do you call a guy with no arms and no legs in front of a door? A. Matt

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What happened to the guy that got shot? He fell down

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Dwarf Shortage

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what did the dog say to the cat? nothing cause animals dont talk.

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What's red and green and goes 500 mph? A frog in a blender.

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A teacher, a lawyer, and a doctor are all at the edge of the cliff. Then they jump off and die.

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Why did the Mexican fail his english test? Because he had studied for an inadequate amount of time and proceeded to fornicate with many women, also preventing him from sleeping for the advised 7-8 hours a night.

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A cat jumped into a swimming pool It drowned and was cremated.

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Why are humans and squirrels the same? They both live in trees except for the human

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Why couldn't the man sleep? Because he was a wax model in a museum, and as we all know wax models are inanimate objects thus incapable of consciousness and therefore incapable of unconsciousness as well. Many other inanimate objects are caught up in similar problems relating to their incapability to do anything.

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what lies in ore an develops a golden tan ken bigleys body

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What do you call a black man in space An astronaut

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Why does Joel get so many numbers from girls? Because he asks for them nicely.

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Why do women live longer? Once they're sexual and metabolistic hormones are moleculy different from men's, their metabolism is different and act on different organs and vice-versa. Therefore, they live longer. Still, in a worldwide average, more men born than women.

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What do a rabbit and a plum have in common? -They're both purple except the rabbit.

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Why did Dracula cross the road? To get to the other unbitten virgin.

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Why did the little boy rush downstairs to the living room on Christmas morning? because he heard his mother screaming rape.

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q. what did batman say to robin before they got in the batmobile a. hey robin get in the bat mobile

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jasper walks into a bar, he sees an elephant and can't believe his eyes. he says "HORGWARSH!"

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Caramel Boing.

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Q: Whats worse than finding a worm in your apple? A: Eating the apple.

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Q: what did the emo girl use to check her email? A: A computer.

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Watch me whip, watch me nae nae

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What's brown and sticky? A piece of toffee, which is brown and/or dark brown in color.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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