Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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How do you kill a blond? Stab her repeatedly in her throat

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what do u call a joke with no punchline? A joke with no punchline

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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What did the man say when he saw his t.v. floating in the middle of the night? I must be seeing things. By logic, televisions don't float. My weary eyes must be playing tricks on me and I should probably go back to sleep.

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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What do call a man with a daranged wife? Married

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Santa and a smart blonde jump of a cliff. Who gets to the ground first? Neither, they don't exist.

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What did the Macedonian guy say to the Croatian guy? Both of our countries are from the former Yugoslavia.

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How do you make sure a kangaroo gets the right breakfast? Make sure it doesn't get the wrong breakfast

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your mom is so fat, that your father is no longer attracted to her and it is tearing your family apart.

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poopy is poopy

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Two black guys walk into a bar. They had too much alcoholic substances and got alcohol poisoning. Their families mourned for days and their kids grew u without a father. The end.

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I don't understand what's so bad about a worm in your apple. Just get the proper software to clean it up, or even better, get a PC

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What do you call a black man driving a plane? You don't call it anything. You don't drive a plane you fly it.

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What did the spatula say to the door handle? Nothing. Inanimate objects are incapable of speaking.

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What do you call a guy with a rainbow tuxedo on? A classy man that is very well dressed

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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