knock knock, whos there? the bum bum boys ready to dance :) ``~ ``sms

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Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then the man returns and says, "My friend does not have a pulse, so I stand by my prior assumption that he is dead."

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How many sumo wrestlers does it take to lift a huge rock? The point of lifting a rock just to lift a rock is stupid, so why would you get 3 sumo wrestlers to come out and waste their time.

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JOSH BROWN STOP ADDING PEOPLES NAMES TO THE END OF YOUR TRUE STORIES!

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Knock knock. Who's there? The Police. Your family is dead...

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What do you call a deer with no eyes? A vet, so he/she can put it down.

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A woman was in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband. Shortly after she brings the sandwich to him and he thanks her seeing as his disabled legs prevent him from walking to the kitchen and making one himself. His wife later heads to her job as a firefighter.

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Why did the man get fired from his Job? The boss became his ex girlfriend 2 minutes ago

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Why'd The Chicken Cross The Road? He Crossed The Road To Stand In An Icecream Line , Where A Little Boy Stood Infront Of Him, The Chicken Was Scared To Cross The Road Again To Get To The Other Side Because He Saw The Little Boy Get Hit By A Bus. So The Chicken Decided The Best Thing To Do Was To Sit Under A Tree , Where A Big White Thing Fell On Him , It Was A Fridge, Once The Fridge Hit The Ground Mexicans Ran Out And Then Explained To There Local Chickens What Crossing The Street Can Cause Them. To Be Dead. Moral: Dont Let A Chicken Cross The Road. :)

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When is a door not a door? When it has yet to be created from its base components.

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Beans, beans, are good for your heart the more you eat the less hungry you are.

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What's black and white and red all over? A domestically abused bi-racial woman.

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Suicide is never funny Unless it's a clown

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What did the little girl get for Christmas? A pipe bomb

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Q: What did the Lone Ranger say when he saw his horse coming? A: Here comes my horse.

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Roses are brown Violets are brown who the hell took a shit in my garden?

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Why was the wife laying on the ground crying? Because she wasn't in the kitchen making a sandwich for her husband

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Why did the little girl pull her hair out? She didn't, It's a side-effect of the chemotherapy.

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Were you born on a freeway? because thats were all accidents happen.

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(Pretend you're an orphan.) Knock knock. Who's there? Not your parents.

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Alright alright... But you gotta promise to call me then

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What do you call a white guy sitting on a bench? The NBA.

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What do you call an old lady walking down the street? Widowed.

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:( You are right Nero, I am terribly sorry, when I see you, I see the brightest man I have ever seen, should you ever turn against me and stop underestimating yourself, there is nothing I could do.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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