What would happen if the whole world farted at once?

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What's Blue And Fat? A Brick. I like to lie a lot.

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What's worse than finding a worm in your apple? Slowly being tortured to death.

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I was expecting something like that... Anyway, good you do not mind in particular, because that means I am just boring myself here, so, tell me something about yourself you don't tell people most.

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Have u ever noticed why a Police car siren isnt as loud as an ambulance siren? Do u know why that is? Because i dont, and i would like to know because my over active and curious brain is pounding through my skull and throbbing with question and wont stop until i know the answer!

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Q.Why did Bruno Mars marry the blond? A.Because it was a beautiful night and he was looking for something DUMB to do.

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Why did the man lose the spelling bee? He was mentally retarded and had no friends.

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Why doesn't Susie have a bike? She has no arms. Who pushed Johnny off a cliff? Definitely not Susie.

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What's big, hairy and smells like sweat? The big show after a hard days work in the ring.

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What does a fish and a truck have in common? Nothing. One is a fish & one is a truck.

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Far from, yet all organizations are money based and put capitalism in front of all, so if lets say, one organization, needs help from another, a money transaction is made, I play a role there, as a well... Diplomat, its not my title, but my title is something I cannot reveal to anyone, not even my wife, id be putting myself and people in danger, but since I master things such as hypnosis, I can well, influence people, this is how I can pull of favors myself. Not favors such as "kill that guy for me", but more like... In your case. "If you are going to kill the wizard, please let the rest be, I know they are good people"

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What do you call a man with no arms and legs laying at your doorstep? Matt.

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How do you get a black man out of a tree? With a ladder.

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Whats funnier than Dane Cook. The Holocaust.

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A: What do you call a deer with no eyes? A: I got NoEyeDeer!!!

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How much does Michael Vick love his dogs? More than Casey Anthony loved her daughter.

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Roses are red Tulips are blue Wait, no sorry That's violets.

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whos gay and sits next to me? Griffen in my architecture class

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Knock Knock Who's there? re-posession officers

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What happened to him after he died? He got buried.

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How do you make a plumber cry? You kill his kids.

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What's the difference between a bench and a black guy? A bench can support a family

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Women outside of the kitchen.

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derp

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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