A Man walks into a bar and orders a scotch. His alcoholism is tearing his family apart

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Why is this website named Anti Joke because that's what the creator wanted it to be called

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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how many letters are in Montana? 7 yes

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Why did the guy throw a clock out of his window? Because he had mental issues.

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"You know what they say about people with big swords." What do they say? Man that's a big sword.

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Adam knocks on the door. Eve: who is it? Adam: Don't be silly, just open the f*cking door.

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Why is Chuck Norris' beard so great? because he grooms it daily.

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Whats the difference between andreas and a dog? the dog has a tail.

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What did Batman say to Robin before getting into the Batmobile? Robin, get in the Batmobile.

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What's longer - 'an african american phallus' or 'a micronesian sphincter'? 'An african american phallus has' 24 letters as opposed to 'a micronesian sphincter' at 21 letters, so it is longer.

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You.

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apple pie.

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What do you call a homosexual with no legs or arms. Jerry

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What do you call a guy with a car on his head? Immediate identification would not be possible. The man would be referred to by his estimated demographics. Circumstantial evidence and dental reports may be required for identification at which points the family's would be notified. Only after this will the man's name would be released to the media who would in turn report this.

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A little gir gets stung by a bee. Her parents see the bump She now geting meletedin Rehab because her parents saw her shoot up heroine.

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The

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What did the vegetarian eat for christmas? Food.

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Whats the difference between two flies? Nothing, they're both flies.

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A man goes into a store to buy some bread, He asks a woman behind the counter for help. She says " We have white, wheat, or rye. What kind would you like?" . To which the man replies, " It does not matter, I rode my bicycle.

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What's better then winning a gold medal at the special olympics? Not being retarded.

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Knock, knock. Who's there? A black Russian.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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