So I went to the airport the other day, and the new TSA regulations are very strict.

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Women's rights.

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Why did elmo jump of the cliff caus he wa depresed

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"Ask me if I'm an orange!" "Are you an orange?" "No."

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My mother got hammered last night. We cried at her funeral.

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What's better than winning the lottery? Winning it twice.

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Why did the monkey fall out of the tree? Because after death the body loses control of muscles and the monkey could no longer grasp the branch with his tail

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What's red and silly? A blood clot

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Who Lives in a Pineapple Under the Sea? No one, its physically impossible to live in a fruit and breathe under water

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How do you make $10,000 in 1 day? I don't know, but I wish I did.

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Why did the chicken cross the road? Because chicken brains are not as large or developed as human brains, therefore preventing the chicken from making a logical decision, leading to it crossing a road with heavy traffic and eventually being run over by a semi.

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how do you wash clothes in the diswasher? you turn it on.

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A young blind boy is being tucked into bed by his mother. The mom says "Now Billy, pray really hard tonight and tomorrow, your wish will come true!". Billy says, "Ok mommy." and goes to sleep. The next morning, Billy wakes up and screams "MOMMY! I'm still blind, my wish didn't come true!", the mom answered, "I know - April Fools!"

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What did the boy with no arms and legs get for his 8th birthday? Prosthetic arms and legs.

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9/11 isn't funny. 19 Muslims died that day.

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Your mom is so stupid that... She often makes mistakes.

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3 ducks are sitting in a pond. one with blonde feathers. one with brown feathers, and one with white feathers. A Transvestite Inbred Donkey Man kills them instantly.

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Why can't you fool an aborted fetus? Because it wasn't born yesterday.

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I used to make references to characters in Skyrim, but then my uncle touched me...

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If John has 50 candy bars, and he eats 45, how many cadybars does John have? Diabetes, John has diabetes.

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Why are video games fun? To get a mushy brain :P

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Who owns the streets of Comton The mayor

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What do you call a black kid on a bike ? Dirt bike

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What happened when the asian girl got an 89 on her Test? Her parents kicked her out of their house.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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