If you were an octopus what would you? Say "I an octopus".

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Whats the difference between Justin Beiber and Polio? Polio was cured.

thumb_up thumb_down -12

Knock knock, come in.

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why did the chicken cross the road? ..To get to the other side

thumb_up thumb_down -14

Why was the little Latino boy sad? Because his father sexually molested him earlier in the evening.

thumb_up thumb_down -20

What do you call an aircraft piloted by a Muslim extremist? The aircraft's brand name followed by its model number, in all likelihood.

thumb_up thumb_down -22

Why couldn't Jimmy ride his bike? His family had to sell it in order to put food on the table

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Why did suzie fall of the swing? She had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down -24

Eliza eh? Of you I do not know but at least you used the correct code yourself, I suppose Nero7 kept your existence hidden from most of us for a reason. This "point Zero" is no more, about time people got out of the fucking north pole anyways, he was buried there, as his identity and existence is better off kept secret from the outside world for reasons many, none the less because if he is found and identified, undesired company might track whatever loose threads he might have left, straight back to us and we are not exactly operating within the parameters of... Legality anymore. Listen, if you want to know more give me the code straight out (I could not care less about deciphering shit right now and we are leaving horseshit network anyways) And I will tell you what Major6 knows, because as far as the screams roaming these halls can tell, he is still alive, you just better be fast, my men and women are not exactly experts at keeping these people alive... Yet, but enough idle chitchat. If you are who you claim to be, you should have the code I need, bring it, and I will present you with the neccesary information... ...Fail to do so, and I suggest that you never address any of us again fair lady, while we can simply not be tracked down, the security here is... Do I need to say? Neo-Nero.

thumb_up thumb_down -30

So this guy and his monkey walk into a bar, I forget the rest of the joke but your mothers a whore.

thumb_up thumb_down -40

Q: What did the cop say to the deaf man? A: Nothing worth hearing about.

thumb_up thumb_down -140

Two muffins are sitting in an oven. One muffin says to the other, "Boy, it's hot in here!" The second muffin replies, "Yes, I'm in a lot of pain. Also, I've had a headache for quite a while now. I went to the doctor last Thursday and he preformed an X-ray but the results are not back yet. This extreme heat is likely worsening my already fragile physical health."

thumb_up thumb_down +59

Q .What robin told to batman before they got into the car? A. Get into the car!!

thumb_up thumb_down +51

What is wrong with racism? A lot of things.

thumb_up thumb_down +49

Wanna hear a joke? No.

thumb_up thumb_down +47

A man walks into a bar. He's blind.

thumb_up thumb_down +45

Q: What's annoying and doesn't smoke? A: AIDS

thumb_up thumb_down +45

If Vegetarians eat vegetables, what do humanitarians eat? Probably both plant life, sea-based creatures, and land-based animals. However, depending on the personal preference of the person, they can also be a vegetarian or not. They could also be cannibals, but the literal definition of humanitarian would go against any cannibalistic traditions due to the fact that humanitarians help others for the benefit of humanity as a whole, eating people would go against such beliefs.

thumb_up thumb_down +43

So a seal walks into a club...

thumb_up thumb_down +41

Who was the dinosaurs favorite NBA player? He didnt have one. Dinosaurs became extinct far before the NBA was established.

thumb_up thumb_down +41

shoe and shoelace. one is meaningless without the other

thumb_up thumb_down +39

Q: What do cooks do for a living? A: Eh muffin.

thumb_up thumb_down +37

What has two wings and a halo? A chinese phone. WING WING HALO?

thumb_up thumb_down +35

What's better than winning the special Olympics? Not being retarded.

thumb_up thumb_down +33

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops