How do you keep children off your front lawn? You molest them.

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How did Peter Parker tell his uncle that he was Spiderman? He didn't because he was already dead.

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You're an Irish male that walks into a bar full of Mexicans. Upon entering you are approached by two topless women. ....You realize you have been coming to the same sleazy strip club on the edge of town every night after work for the past few years. After seeing that you have gradually become completely bald and neglect your two children and wife, you recognize your extreme depression. Strippers now see you as a consistent, "paying customer" and you proceed seek psychiatric care, while being prescribed anti-depressants. The Mexicans at the bar are hard working, tax-paying citizens that would like to provide an education for their children.

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Me: Tell me I'm a fairy. You: You're a fairy. Me: Poof! You're a bag of shit!

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What makes the world go round? Gravity.

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An antijoke

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knock knock you may come in

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What did the lion say the the zebra? Nothing. Lions do not have the ability to speak and therefore could not make conversation with said zebra, hunted it down, killed it, and shared it with his pride of 27.

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Whats the difference between a duck? Yellow bills.

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Knock Knock. Who's there? Madame. Madame who? Just kidding it's Steve, but my damn foot's stuck in the door.

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GRAAAAAAAR.

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What did I say when I fell of THEEeEeeeeeeee...

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An iguana walks out of a bar

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why was the bunny black? because it was born this way baby

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A horse walks into a bar. He ordered some fries.

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why'd the chicken committed suicide?? to get to the other-side

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Oh hey is your dad good at golf? No, he's not really good at anything except lying.

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Hey Patrick Yea? I found something funnier then 24 Give to me buddy 25

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Did you hear about the woman you got hit by a car? The Driver was intoxicated and had no control over his faculties which cause him to careen off of the road and hit this poor soul as she patiently waited at a crosswalk.

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Q: What do you get when you eat all the potatoes? A: They're all gone!

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What do you call a fish with no eye? A fsh

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What's the difference between peanut butter and jam ? Among many things, one is made with peanut butter, the other with fruits.

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What do you get if you cross a mexican with a pineapple? Nothing, they are two different physical forms thus incapable of becoming a new object.

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Why did German shower heads have eleven holes? Because jews only have ten fingers.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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