What's black, white, and red all over? A lot of things, you just gotta keep your eyes peeled.

Why was the Jewish man in jail? He lit a local CVS on fire.

Q: What did the guy say to the apple? A: suck me off

Slug on ya tooth Gavin David Newman

What's the most confusing day in Mexico? Father's Day.

How did the blonde die drinking milk? She was severely lactose intolerant.

Did you know that if you took all the elephants on earth and lined them up in space, that all the elephants would die???

how do you stop a baby from crawling in circles??????? you nail its other hand to the floor

What do you do i a stranger offers you candy? Make sure its not stale then jump in his van.

A man walks into a bar. He buys something.

"How do you put a giraffe into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, put in the giraffe, and close the door." "How do you put an elephant into a refrigerator?" "Open the refrigerator, take out the giraffe, put in the elephant and close the door." "The Lion King is hosting an animal conference. All the animals attend.... except one. Which one?" "The Elephant. The elephant is in the refrigerator." "There is a river you must cross but it is used by crocodiles, and you do not have a boat." "You jump into the river and swim across. Have you not been listening? All the crocodiles are attending the Animal Meeting."

how do you make a plumber sad? Kill his family

What's brown and rhymes with snoop ? Dr Dre.

Mack: Hello Jonathan: Hi Mack: My name is Mack, what's your name? Jonathan: My name is Billy Mack: You liar! I'm reading this post at anti-joke.com and whenever you reply, your name shows Johnathan! Johnathan: Well Mack, I guess you broke the 4th wall. By the way, this joke is over in 3, 2, 1...

Why couldn't the black man play hockey in college? He died of cancer while still in high school.

Jack just got his new yellow bicycle. His dad got it for his 12th anniversary. Jack was ecstatic to ride it down his street for the first time. He immediately called his friends Paul and Erick and went for his first ride. The neighbors were in AWE when they saw Jack taking off on his new ride. That day the three friends had one of the best day of their young lives, they went up to the lake, had some peanut ice cream and made fun of Alexia. Jack was in love with his new bike and euphoric that they were reunited and did all their favorite things with an incredible amount of passion. Erick hated his new bike.

Frontbut-

Q: Why didn't i save my work? A: Because i didn't do any work?

What do Gary Glitter and Michael Jackson have in common? They are both successful pop stars

Why didn't the man walk done the stairs? Because he had no legs

what did the bear say to the fish? Nothing he eat it

A horse and a group of people are the jury in a courtroom. They are expected to vote yay or nay of whether a supposed robber is guilty or not. The jury goes into their room. They come out, and the people vote yay. The room turns to the horse. The horse states his objection very thoughtfully, and then leaves the room.

Why is a dog smarter than a human? Because you an asshole if you believe me

How do you get the pesky neighborhood kids off your front lawn? Molest them.

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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