What is the worst part about eating a vegetable? Eating the wheelchair too.

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What do you call a midget mixed with a T. rex? Dinosaurs are dead and this is a highly un probable situation. Therefore, I do not know.

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what happend when the magic man touched fire? He got burnt screamed in my ear and died.

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what did the jew get for Christmas? cancer. and aids

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Why did the pencil break? A Viking destroyed it with his beard.

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Two colleague janitors sit next to each other in the coffee room, one says to the other: About yesterday... I checked three times and it looks pretty normal. Sorry... I wasn't around to hear the question the other posed the day before, but I heard it's supposed to be pretty funny with this answer. So... Less is better then none, right?

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"I love you terribly!" said the girl to her new boyfriend. "Yeah, but you make a really great sandwich!"

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Joe Paterno walks into a bar...he should've walked into a police station and filed a report.

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What is worse than the holocaust? DUH! A worm in MY apple!

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Why did the black man eat KFC? Because he got hungry.

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Hickory dickory dock, The mouse ran up the clock, Barbara called the exterminator, Who killed all 10 of them.

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Why did Jimmy lay down? Because he was tired

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What is worse than ending and apple joke in the holocaust? Getting raped by a goat

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Can apples get viruses? No, they are a fruit, and fruit cannot get viruses.

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A blonde, brunette, and redhead live in the same neighborhood. They are Desperate Housewives

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What did the cat say to the human? Nothing

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Why is my penis rainbow colored?

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Whats the difference between a blonde and a mosquito? A mosquito is a common insect in the family Culicidae. A blonde on the other hand is a Homo sapien, a primate species of mammal with a highly developed brain, belonging to the family of great apes, along with chimpanzees, bonobos, gorillas, and orangutans

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CJTheBEST Sticks and stones, May break my bones, Because i have osteoperosis

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A squirrel walks up to a tree and says, "I forgot to store acorns for winter and now I am dead." It is funny because the squirrel gets dead.

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Doctor, Doctor, I can't feel my legs? We're going to have to amputate it to prevent infection, you won't be able to walk again.

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-You know what will always get people fighting? -Hey, you wanna fight?

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Why did the black person jump the fences? because he was in a relay race.

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There once was an old man. He had worked hard his whole life to make sure his children got everything they needed, and that they were always happy. He had a beautiul life and a great big house with a marvelous view of the ocean. In time his kids moved away, and his wife died. The old man was left all by himself in the great big house, and sometimes the emptiness of the house reminded him of the emptiness of his own heart. He very seldom cried though, and kept all of his emotions inside. One day it all became to much for him and he took his own life in the silence of his great big empty house. I was that ocean.

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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