ARGH! LADY THAT SNAKE BIT MY PECKER! YOU HAVE TO SUCK THE POISON OUT NOW! OMG SURE, err...Meh, thats not a poisonous snake... Oh... dammit! I mean phew! Ouch ouch ouch!

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Godilla walks into a bar. There were no survivors.

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Why did the kid drop his ice cream? Because he was laughing so hard at the man who farted and burped at the same time.

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You heard now that you can not only bet safe at net casinos, but also win safely? Win safely? The hell does that mean? You mean you could win unsafely before? Like the betting casino crashing after you win a million? Moral: That crap is even less moral than I am ffs! Now they give you like 5000 game bucks free just to get you addicted.

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What did the blanket say when it fell off the bed Awwww sheeeeeeet!

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oh no a butt!!!!!!!!!! your stubid oh wait your right ahhhhhhhhhh

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How do you make a firefighter happy? Give him a blowjob and 10 million dollars.

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alert('The Game')

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whats big and green and if it fell out of a tree it would kill you? a snooker table

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"Lets begin, tell me about yourself," "ok, well first I'm a open book and..." "ok next" "why?" "I fucking hate books!"

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What's worse then having gum stuck on the bottom of your shoe? Having a stick poked in your eye. What's worse then having a stick poked in your eye? Having a nail go through your foot. What's worse then having a nail go through your foot? Having a stick poked in your eye and a nail going through your foot.

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Roses are red,violets are blue I've got aids & now so do you Merry Christmas

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Roses are red Violets are blue You think this will rhyme But it's not gonna

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What haircut did Timmy get at the barbershop? He didn't, he saved money from the barber by going through chemo.

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So, I walk into a bar and say "Why do you call this place a bar, I don't see any bars in here!" HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

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What's black and white all over and has a mouth? A Zebra

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Roses are red, violets are blue, I had some crack, my unicorn says hi.

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If a tree falls in the woods, how many animals lost their home to deforestation?

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There was this guy at a bar, just looking at his drink. He stays like that for half of an hour. Then, this big trouble-making truck driver steps next to him, takes the drink from the guy, and just drinks it all down. The poor man starts crying. The truck driver says, "Come on man, I was just joking. Here, I'll buy you another drink. I just can't stand to see a man cry." "No, it's not that. This day is the worst of my life. First, I fall asleep, and I go late to my office. My boss, outrageous, fires me. When I leave the building, to my car, I found out it was stolen. The police said that they can do nothing. I get a cab to return home, and when I leave it, I remember I left my wallet and credit cards there. The cab driver just drives away." "I go home, and when I get there, I find my wife in bed with the gardener. I leave home, and come to this bar. And just when I was thinking about putting an end to my life, you show up and drink my poison."

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A man walked into a bar. He left in a body bag.

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A bartender walks into a bar, and starts his shift.

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how do u wake kesha up? Answer:set her alarm clock to a reasonable time

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Q: What present did the Taliban's wife get on the islamic holiday A: a beating

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If you say "Hi" to every tree you pass, is that being environmentally friendly?

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Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

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Anti-Joke Chicken

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