Why do the man leave his tv on? He was murdered while he was watching tv

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Why couldn't Jimmy breathe? He had a knife in his throat!

thumb_up thumb_down +24

How do you put an elephant in a refridgerator? Go to your local zoo with a shotgun, shoot to kill, load elephant in Uhaul, drive home, remove elephant from Uhaul, sharpen your ax, put on mask to pevent excessive blood on face, begin to chop elephant into small chunks, put the chunks into ziplock bags, call a friend to help you move bags into refridgerator, and move bags into refridgerator. Once all the bags are in the refridgerator, dismiss your friend, get in car, and drive to mexico because killing an elephant is not legal and the police will be there soon. Now as for the giraffe...

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Knock knock. Who's there? I am. I am who? I am pregnant.

thumb_up thumb_down +24

Have you seen stevie wonders new piano? No Well it's really nice

thumb_up thumb_down +24

What's purple and fuzzy? A piece of purple fuzz.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl fall off of the swings? Because I threw a refrigerator at her.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

did you know r kelly and jay z had a album together?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Yo mama's so fat, that she died from obesity.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

If pro- is good or favored and con- is bad, then why do people favor the constitution and stay away from prostitution?

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's the difference between a dead baby and a tire iron? I've never forcibly expelled three tire irons from my vagina.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are blue. Before you sneeze Say PIK-Achoo

thumb_up thumb_down +22

HOW TO RE-AD : FOR DUMMIES. (HELLEN KELLER ADDITION)

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Why did the girl fall out of the swing? Because she had no arms.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Roses are red, Violets are dead, I've climbed through your window, I'm under your bed.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

Neither have I

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What's red and looks like a bucket? A red bucket? No. A picture of a red bucket? No. A photo nailed to a red bucket, which shows a red bucket with a very realistic painting of a red bucket on it? Yes.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What did the bad boy get for Christmas? Incurable cancer.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

What do you call a fly without wings? A walk.

thumb_up thumb_down +22

A man walks into a bar a browning automatic rifle, it accidentally fires hitting the main artery in his neck and he promptly bleeds to death.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Do you want to hear a joke?!?!?!?!?!?! A happy orphan

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Whats pink and silver and runs into walls? A baby with forks in its eyes. Whats green and silver and sits in a corner? The same baby three weeks later.

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Violence is never the answer, its the question... The answer is YES!

thumb_up thumb_down +20

why did the hobo want cancer so badly? he really needed a haircut

thumb_up thumb_down +20

Anti Joke

What are Antijokes? Anti Jokes (or Anti Humor) is a type of comedy in which the uses is set up to expect a typical joke setup however the joke ends with such anticlimax that it becomes funny in its own right. The lack of punchline is the punchline.

Our Updated iOS App!

We've just released huge update to the iOS app! Now, access all your favorite text and photo sites like Anti-Joke, DIYLOL! A few things didn't make the original cut (like comments) but they'll be back soon. Best of all, the app is now FREE! Get it here.

The Anti Joke Book


NEW ANTI-JOKE BOOK!  Now that we've resolved the printing issues with our publisher, check out the BRAND SPANKING NEW Anti-Joke Book!

MOAR??

Want more? You might be interested in...


Anti-Joke Chicken

Anti-Joke Triceratops